


Significant Comets

by jetreadsstuff



Category: unnamed bad space show
Genre: Best Friends, Black Paladin Allura (Voltron), Blade of Marmora critical, Canon Universe, Comfort/Angst, F/F, Finding Shiro, Fix It Fic, Friends to Lovers, Getting to Know Each Other, Lesbian Allura, Mutual Pining, Romantic Friendship, Slow Burn, Sparring, kallura, season 3-8 retcon, trans girl keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23750125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jetreadsstuff/pseuds/jetreadsstuff
Summary: Told over a period of a year, and interspersed with journal entries on alien species by Katie "Pidge" Holt, Significant Comets tells the story of Allura, a princess struggling with leadership in the face of great loss, and Red's search for identity and a place of belonging. Both extremely dedicated to the cause of galactic peace, they're ready to face anything. Anything, well, except for each other.
Relationships: Allura/Keith (Voltron)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	1. Part One: Concrete Armor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making friends with all the unfamiliar creatures  
> And pushing back on the unnecessary pressure  
> Come up for air just so you know we won’t drown  
> You’re so strong  
> The world can't keep us down, hey  
> Baby, if I’m half the man I say I am  
> If I’m a woman with no fear just like I claim I am  
> Then I'll believe in what you say  
> There’s nothing left for you to do  
> The only proof that I need is you

It was just like any other mission, really, Red thought as the castle moved through a wormhole. That’s what she tried to tell herself as she sat alone on her cot, tightly wrapping the gashes on her arm. She might have needed stitches if she’d been cut deeper, and she didn’t know how the Galra had developed a blade that could cut through armor. Wondering about it wasn’t worth her time.

A loud, high pitched beeping filled the room. They came in rounds of two, which meant that food was ready. Red pulled herself to her feet with minimal resistance. She made her way towards the door and tried to ignore the turn of her stomach as she passed Shiro’s. 

The dining hall was loud. It was always the loudest in the castle, always so full of life. Leandro and Hunk were having a conversation about god knew what and Red sat at the far end of the table, trying as hard as she could to not draw attention to herself. She’d had enough of it lately.

“Alright, paladins,” Coran greeted them with a strained smile, “good work this evening! I’m very proud of how all of you are handling the situation at hand. I know it has been difficult, physically and emotionally, to cope with only having four paladins.”

Red ignored the series of subtle looks the other paladins shot her. If she wasn’t sure it would worsen the situation, she would have stormed off. No, she had to be an adult about this. She locked eyes with Allura.

“Even though Zarkon is dead, there’s still a war to be fought, I’m afraid. You all well know that supporters of Zarkon’s ideology have been plotting acts of resistance against us. It’s imperative that we stay ahead of them,” Allura continued, “we are taking a brief hiatus to upgrade our armor, heal injuries.”

“Leandro’s leg will take about eight Spicolian movements to heal,” Coran added, helpfully, “but the rest of you should be prepared for shorter or longer, just in case.”

“When we are on our feet again, there will be work to do. We have been without a pilot for the black lion for much too long. We could have been compromised this evening, or worse,” Allura folded her hands, “for now, I suggest all of you eat as much as you can stand to, and Red, I would like to speak to you in the kitchen.”

Red rolled her eyes and stood. She was completely not in the mood for this. She’d already had countless pep talks and one-sided heart to hearts. It was really kind of sweet, everyone trying to help her. But what she really needed was to be left alone. She walked, with Allura, into the kitchen.

“Yes, princess?” Red folded her arms. She hoped that this time it would be quick. 

“I wanted to talk about your work tonight. You’re a good pilot and a good fighter, but you need to keep better track of your surroundings. You’re vulnerable from the back,” Allura said, not looking up, “I’m putting together a training regimen for you to start once your injuries have healed. From now on, your training should reflect your weaknesses, not your strengths.”

“That’s all?” Red asked. 

“Yes. What else would there be?” Allura raised an eyebrow. 

“Nothing, thanks,” Red paused, “can I take my dinner to my room?”

“I don’t see why not,” Allura boredly shrugged, and Red couldn’t help but feel like she had somehow gotten away with something. 

* * *

Allura couldn’t remember the last time she had a restful night’s sleep. It was before Shiro’s disappearance, she was sure of that much. She remembered being so afraid of what was going to happen in the battle with Zarkon. She had many nightmares in which one of the paladins was captured or killed. 

She was having trouble deciding whether or not this was worse. Shiro wasn’t dead, at least they didn’t know he was. There was not a body to bury or a memorial service to attend. But he had vanished. And Allura wasn’t sure what to make of it. Nobody was.

Of course, Red was taking it the hardest. She’d been quieter and more reckless. She was barely talking unless spoken to, nodding and shaking her head when applicable. She’d lost her best friend and now it seemed like she was shutting herself off from the possibility of letting somebody else get that close. And she and Allura had something of a flicker of that closeness before all of this happened. Just a flicker. But it was there.

Allura couldn’t sleep. She laid with her eyes closed for a long time, waiting for her thoughts to quiet. Eventually, she became frustrated with the whole routine and climbed out of bed. Maybe she could head to the training deck. After all, she was as much at risk as the other paladins were, having stepped into battle.

The doors to the training deck screeched as they opened. Some of the castle mechanisms had been running, well, less than smoothly lately, something Coran had attributed to the strain put on the engine during that last battle with Zarkon. 

She got changed and tied her black hair back into a ponytail. Developing personalized training sequences had been Hunk’s idea, and it was brilliant. The paladins couldn’t all use the same sequence because they weren’t the same people. They were all unique, each with different abilities and different advantages to bring to the table. 

She used to think that was their strength. What made them all work so well. But now, with Shiro missing, the team was in pieces. Shiro was to the team like walls were to the castle. He was safety. And now Voltron was left without shelter, and they were more vulnerable than ever.

A bot managed to strike Allura and she fell to the ground. This definitely wasn’t working. She grunted and barely managed to pull herself to her feet before the bot delivered another strike. Alright. Enough of that.

Allura quickly called off the bots. Her programmed fighting sequences were a lot more advanced than the others. This was, in part, because Allura's body was the most physically stable by a long shot. But she had barely had to fight before. Her father had done a great disservice to her, raising her as a princess and not a warrior. She sighed,

Allura left the training deck. Her knees hurt from falling on them. Maybe she did herself a disservice by having it cranked up to fourteen, but she didn't know how to fix that. Maybe it was hopeless. she thought. Don't be melodramatic, she thought to herself, there will be plenty of time to train while the paladins rest.

She wandered the halls, the creak of the castle quiet as a mouse, but still present. Allura glanced at her room. She definitely was not going to be able to get back to sleep, but she risked waking someone up out here. No, the paladins needed their rest. Maybe she could head to the library and study up on ancient Altean history. Older than ten thousand years ancient. 

Or maybe, she sighed, looking down the long corridor before her, she could go to the one room in the castle she had, quite honestly, been attempting to avoid at all costs. Maybe the reason she'd been avoiding it, to begin with, was she didn't want to face the truth. She'd done a good job at it, too, she hadn't even seen the black lion since that night. 

But Allura couldn't keep the black lion from her mind. Every time she thought she could avoid thinking about it, another thought clawed its way into her conscious mind. And lately, it was taking over her dreams, too, stealing sleep from her. She was going to have to face the black lion eventually, whether she wanted to or not. Maybe it was better to do it now. 

The metal doors to the hangar slid open with a loud scraping noise. Rust. The door was starting to rust. It had been an issue when she and Coran had first awoken and she guessed it was an issue now, too. The doors became rickety from lack of use. She'd have to oil them or put it on the paladin chore wheel Shiro made. She frowned as the doors shut behind her.

There was a sort of eerie energy of the black lion's hangar. It felt haunted, and maybe it was. Zarkon was dead, and Shiro, well...She pushed her feet forward. The room echoed as she walked through it. The floor was thicker in this hangar than anywhere else in the castle, so it wasn't a creak of the floor that woke the black lion, rather, her loud footsteps rising to the high ceiling of the room. 

The black lion stirred, paws moving, eyes slowly opening. Allura gulped as the glow of his yellow eyes shone on her like a spotlight. He blinked at her. Allura found herself frozen in her tracks.

"Hello," Allura felt a little silly talking to her lion, but, well, the other paladins did it, "it's been a while, old friend."

The black lion blinked at her again, slowly, as if he was agreeing. 

"I know you miss Shiro," she continued, "I do too, we all do. With your help, we hope to find him."

The lion didn't respond this time. Allura hesitantly placed a hand on his large, metal paw. 

"Okay, I know you know you're not my favorite lion. It's nothing personal, really. It has had a lot more to do with Zarkon than with you," she sighed, "I mean, you chose Shiro. And Shiro was, is, wonderful. It's not fair to either one of us that I hold anger and fear towards you. But I don't know how to fix this...thing that I have with you."

He lowered his head to Allura, opening his mouth. It was an olive branch. She wasn't sure what it would accomplish, but she trusted, at the very least, that the lion knew what it was doing. She slowly climbed aboard.

She hadn't been inside of the black lion in many, many years. Not since Zarkon was the pilot. The lions didn't talk to their paladins, per se, but they could communicate nonetheless. A telepathic connection. And right now, it was telling her to take a seat. 

She could feel her whole body shake as she approached the chair at the center of the cockpit. She'd sat in it, once, when she was very small. She had been caught exploring it herself and instead of reprimanding her for going where she didn't belong, Zarkon had let her sit in his lap and pretend to pilot as he flew the black lion through a nearby star system.

Allura swallowed a burning sensation in the back of her throat as she sat down. The black lion felt her anguish. _I felt betrayed as well._ Allura nodded. She traced a finger along the mechanisms of the dash. She grabbed ahold of the helm, wrists hanging loosely off of it. She closed her eyes and thought. She had no idea what to do about Shiro, but she was determined not to let the team fall apart because of it. It wasn't what Shiro would have wanted. Allura would help restore the team to what they were and beyond. 

Her thoughts were interrupted with a sort of electronic humming coming from the lion. Allura opened her eyes. The window lit up with violet light. He was powering up.

"What are you doing?" Allura took her hand off the dash, "I can't fly you."

 _Why not?_ The Black Lion asked.

"You have a paladin is why!" Allura pointed out. Silence.

 _This is true. But in his absence, we do not have much of a choice,_ He told her. _You said it yourself. We have been without a black paladin for much too long._

"I..." Allura stood, "I'm going back to bed."

 _Suit yourself,_ The Black Lion lowered his mouth to the floor.

Well, if she was having trouble sleeping before…

* * *

It wasn't a conscious decision, really, to keep her encounter with the black lion to herself. She wasn't lying, per se. She didn't really think about it. It was almost reflexive, she didn't know what to do about the black lion right now so it seemed silly to her to go around announcing that the black lion had chosen her. And why her? Historically, the black lion had been the hardest to gain the trust of. The hardest to pilot. Yet the black lion had almost immediately given her complete control. She didn't know what to make of it, really.

Perhaps she was an idiot for not taking advantage. Or maybe she was smart to be vigilant against the black lion; she had heard secondhand about Shiro's struggle with it towards the end. That had more to do with Zarkon, though, and Zarkon was dead. What would her father do in a similar situation? 

"You okay?" Leandro asked, nudging her with his arm, "You haven't touched your dinner."

"Yeah I," Allura pushed the green goop away from her, "I guess I'm just not very hungry right now."

She and Leandro were always the last to sit at the table. Leandro hated the food the most out of everyone, and Allura stuck around because it was traditional on Altea for the royal family to be the last to leave. 

"You've been pretty quiet all day. Are you sure?" Leandro was very sweet, and his heart was in the right place. But Allura didn't know she could trust him, anyone for that matter, with her encounter. She did not like keeping secrets.

"I appreciate the concern, Leandro," Allura smiled, "I promise that it's nothing. I just hardly got any sleep last night is all."

"Well, then, you should go to bed. I promise nobody's gonna care if you break Altean tradition," Leandro suggested.

"No, I'm alright. You finish your food first," Allura assured him. Leandro, without hesitation, shoveled the rest of the food in his mouth and got up to clear his plate before even beginning to chew. Allura laughed, thanked him, and said goodnight. 

* * *

She dreamed of a cold, dark room. A cold dark room with a clearly marked exit sign. She made her way towards the exit only to find her feet by black sludge. Black sludge climbing up her ankles. then her knees. It wouldn't be long before she suffocated. 

She woke up gasping for air. What time was it? She glanced at the clock. More sleep than last night, though that was not really saying much. She climbed out of bed. She definitely wasn't gonna be able to go back to sleep now, not when she had to fight so hard to get to sleep in the first place.

She walked the long halls of the castle, alone, trying not to think about her encounter with the black lion. It wasn't long before she heard a loud noise from a distance. It sounded sort of like a rock hitting the side of the ship. It had better have not been that. She began sprinting towards the source of the noise. It seemed to be coming from the training deck. 

She was just about to enter the training deck when the noise came again. She frantically opened the door, ready to start panicking. But all she saw when she got inside was Red, sparring with a few robots.

"Oh, hey, Allura," Red greeted boredly.

"Did you hear that?" Allura asked, approaching the window to inspect the sky for flying rocks.

"Hear what?" Red blinked, clearing another robot.

"How could you not have heard it?" Allura huffed, "It sounded like something hitting the ship. Unless..." 

"Unless what?" Red asked. 

"Unless YOU were the source of the noise?" Allura locked eyes with Red. 

"Was the sound this?" Red used the side of her sword like a staff, launching the robot against the wall.

"Yes!" Allura exclaimed, "Wait...why on Altea's moon are you hitting robots against the wall instead of stabbing them?"

"I got tired of stabbing them," Red explained.

"Okay, new rule, you're not allowed to slam them against the wall like that. This room is soundproof, Red," Allura pointed out, "the fact I could hear you from upstairs."

"Okay okay," Red used the handle of her bayard like a cane to balance herself with, "but what am I supposed to do instead? I'm so bored with my usual routine."

"What level are you?" Allura asked.

"18," Red answered.

"How the quiznak," Allura breathed, "did you get up to level 18. You were at ten a matter of quintents ago."

"I haven't been sleeping at night," Red explained, "and when I do sleep. I, well..."

"Nightmares?"

"Yeah."

"Me, too," Allura confessed, "I was hoping to use the extra time to become a more skilled fighter, but..."

"But what?" Red blinked.

"It's embarrassing. Please do not judge me," Allura took a step back.

"I won't," Red promised.

"Well, you see," Allura half-laughed, "it's simply that my fighting sequences are quite a bit more advanced than the others because I'm physically the strongest. But, I really cannot, I mean I've never had to fight before."

"What level do you have it cranked to?" Red asked.

"Twenty-four," Allura answered.

"Holy shit," Red responded.

"I think," Allura finally said, "that I may have a solution to both of our problems."

"Cool. What?"

"If it's cranked up to twenty-four, it's a disservice to me. but at only eighteen, it's a disservice to you. But if we set it to a team exercise, splitting the difference between our two strength levels, we could both spar, as well as learn how to better work as a team, which is something I know we both struggle with."

"Hey, don't project your insecurities on me," Red scoffed.

"Red, you're a good fighter, you are. But you don't pay attention to your surroundings. It makes both you and your teammates vulnerable," Allura looked at her.

"You really think it's worth a shot?" Red asked.

"Yes," Allura responded, tying her hair up, "yes, I do."

"Okay," Red sighed, "I'm in. But I don't want anyone else finding out."

"Right, because that messes with your loner with no friends image," Allura teased. 

"Because I don't want people thinking we're down here in the middle of the night instead of, like, sleeping. Coran at least would freak out," Red corrected.

"You have a point," Allura admitted, "okay, deal. Nobody finds out."

Red nodded, and Allura made her way to the small changing room in the corner. People really weren't supposed to train in their casual clothes, let alone pajamas. When she returned, Red was sitting in the corner nursing a juice box.

"Hey," Red stood, "you ready?" 

"Yes," Allura answered, uncertain.

"Begin pair sequence twenty-one," Red instructed. 

Droids came from every direction. Red fought them off with less speed than normal. Allura managed to knock out a few bots on her own. They were clumsy at first, not really sure what to do with the other there. 

"Red, I'm gonna pick you up and spin you around," Allura said.

"Because you're just so happy to see me?" Red raised an eyebrow.

"So you can knock out more droids," Allura then whispered a swear under her breath. Red smirked. She spun Red and Red took out about ten bots in one go.

They were starting to find a rhythm. Allura's presence made Red more vigilant, while Red kept Allura from getting in her own head too much. It was all going great. Well, that was, until...

Red was on the other side of the room when it happened, fighting off one bot that just refused to quit when Allura's footing slipped. The bot used the opportunity to strike. Its blade pierced Allura’s abdomen and Red, regardless of the fact that a robot was still attempting to kill her, ran as fast as she could to Allura.

“Jesus fucking christ Allura! It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be fine, we just have to get you to Coran,” Red was frantic.

“Remove the blade from my abdomen would you?” Allura’s lips turned red with blood. Red thought she was going to be sick.

“Are you insane?” Removing the blade would be a horrific idea, “The knife is what’s keeping blood inside of your body.”

“Red, please, the blade,” Allura croaked. Red hesitated. She was going against training here, but Allura didn't have time to argue. She removed the blade, and Allura sat up.

“Jesus, okay, we just need bandages. There’s gotta be bandages around here somewhere.”

“There will be no need,” Allura pulled herself to her feet, “I’m fine.”

“What?”

“I’m fine,” Allura repeated, lifting her shirt. Where the blade had made contact was a small pink line.

“How the fuck,” was all Red could manage.

“Alteans are versatile. We heal very quickly. Short of blowing us up, decapitating us, and running a sword through our chests, there’s basically no way to kill us.”

“Information that would have been useful ten fucking minutes ago,” Red seethed.

“Oops,” Allura shrugged, “your concern, however, was very sweet.”

"Fuck off," Red glared, "I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks," Allura smiled, "I don't suppose you would want to continue sparring after that."

"You," Red paused and considered, "you're sure you're alright?"

"I'm positive," Allura even poked at the scar, "you see? It's completely healed.

"Is there any more weird Alrean biology I should know about?" Red asked.

"Not," Allura squinted, "that I can think of."

"Okay," Red sighed, "we can keep going."

"You're sure?" Allura asked.

"Maybe enough of the bots for now. Hand to hand," Red continued.

"Okay, then, hand to hand," Allura agreed. She put up her fists like a cartoon character from the fifties. Red couldn't help but laugh.

"Sorry," Red said.

"Why are you laughing?" Allura asked.

"Sorry," Red repeated, "it's nothing."

"Red," Allura lowered her voice, "if there's something wrong with what I'm doing, I want to know."

"It just..." Red bit her lip, "you look ridiculous."

"I look ridiculous?" Allura dropped her fists.

"You're holding your fists up to your face. You're leaving basically your whole torso exposed," Red explained, figuring she might as well say something useful here.

"So more like this?" Allura asked, lowering her fists to match Red's.

"Yeah," Red answered.

"While we're criticizing one another, your stance is a bit sloppy. You have a high center of gravity," Allura helpfully pointed out.

"I mean, thanks for the tip, but Shiro could never knock me over," Red protested.

"Well, suit yourself," Allura shrugged. Red took her first swing. Allura ducked just in time, sweeping Red's legs out from under her while she was at it. Red hit the ground with a dull thud.

"What the hell?" Red asked pulling herself to her feet.

"I suspect that Shiro may have exaggerated your strengths to boost confidence," Allura observed

"Huh," Red furrowed her brow. 

She did, this time, correct her stance. Allura grabbed Red's fist mid-swing and used it to send her backward. Red fell hard, into one of the bots in serious need of repair. She heard the metal of the droid crunch as Red made contact.

"Sorry!" Allura extended a hand, "I didn't mean to, uh-"

"You have got," Red grabbed Allura's hand, "to show me how to do that."

"You're not mad?" Allura asked.

"Oh, you're dead meat," Red grinned. She pulled herself to her feet, face inches from Allura, "but it was still a pretty cool move."

"Thank you," Allura let go of Red's hand, "it's really not that impressive though. If you hold your stance firm enough and teach yourself to block punches, it's just a matter of using your opponent's aggression against them."

"You didn't even break my arm," Red marveled.

"I'm very precise when I want to be, Red," Allura smiled, "I may not be that good of a fighter just yet, but I can at least tell what qualities of mine outmatch an opponent."

"And I'm not precise?" Red scoffed. 

"Red, dear, not if your life depended on it," Allura said sweetly.

"Alright, that's it, you're going down," Red took her stance.

"Red, don't do anything stupid. I'd hate to see something happen to that pretty face of yours," Allura teased.

"You think I'm pretty?" Red was caught off guard. This gave Allura the opportunity to pin Red to the wall with one arm.

"I didn't think you would be one to lower their guard at flattery," Allura quirked an eyebrow, "but I'll take what I can get." 

Allura let her go. She was a good sparring partner, so far at least. She was fun. Red was having actual genuine fun. She could get used to this, she thought as she raised her fists another time.

* * *

**Notes from Katherine "Pidge" Holt's field journal**

**Day 246 (give or take)**

**Mission # 59**

**Today our mission was on the planet Xirexia, code #16757 in the third galaxy from home. The atmosphere was thicker than Earth gravity, leading our movements to be slowed. Using my converted Altean thermostat, I estimated the planet at the time of landing to be around 1000 Altean°G,* putting it at a steamy 200°Celcius on the planet Earth, a temperature that would surely steam us like lobsters especially considering the, according to Hunk, makes Florida look like a cool glass of water Xirexia climate. (note to self: ask Hunk what he did to improve the armor?)**

**We didn't meet the monarch of the planet despite working inside of her castle (which seemed to be growing out of a tree? was it carved there? Did the castle come first and some asshole tree decided to fuck up this lady's life? Anyway, it was cool as shit. I drew a ref of it to go in the binder following this entry, alongside a portrait I bribed Hunk to draw of one of the castle staff, with permission of course.)**

**The queen's circadian rhythm is that of a lion back on Earth, ie, most of the day. I didn't mind, it gave me more of an opportunity to get to know different people and study the culture until Allura physically tore me and Hunk away from the poor staff.**

**We didn't get to study for long, but we did pick up on a few things. I observed that they're most comparable to butterflies back on Earth. Well, if butterflies were bipedal and each had eight eyes and super freaky cool fangs. (again, check for reference drawings. Thanks Hunk ^_^) They're vegans by necessity, as there is absolutely no fauna on the planet. None! I asked!**

**The mission itself was pretty routine. The queen had survived an assassination attempt at her coronation by a masked stranger who escaped into the night. We spent about three quintents* on Xirexia trying to figure out who the masked stranger was and why they wanted to kill the queen.**

**Hunk and I had the day shift (unfortunately missing all the action) while Red and Allura took the night shift. (Note: It's only our second mission since Allura officially came on the team as Shiro's replacement. It still feels very weird to look towards someone who is only a few years older than me for protection and strategies)**

**Leandro's leg won't be healed for another estimated six spicolian movements* by Coran's estimates, so he sat this one out. we didn't really need all hands on deck anyway, Coran's words, not mine.**

**I dunno what the point of having cryopods* is if it's gonna take the same amount of time for a broken leg to heal (Eight weeks on Earth, Seven and 3/4 Spicolian movements on Altea), but???? Maybe it has more to do with the mechanisms in the castle being BUSTED AS ALL HELL since that last fight with Zarkon. We killed him (more specifically, Shiro did) but that fucker almost took the whole castle down with him (dad, if you're reading this, sorry. Blame Matt.)**

**Red and Allura were absolutely incredible when the guy came back to finish the job they started, at least according to the staff member who witnessed the whole thing. Red said he was flipping his SHIT the entire time, but you know Red. Someone isn't the embodiment of this (-_-) face is always flipping shit. Allura did however verify that Ze was indeed flipping shit as was the queen. Well, in any case, shit had been flipped.**

**Red and Allura were apparently quite the dynamic duo. I guess that makes sense because the last two movements they've been, like, joined at the hip. They're always sitting together or walking together. But the fighting doesn't make sense. I haven't seen either of them train, like, all week.**

**But it's definitely better than our last mission in which Red almost got herself caught on fire and escaped with several serious gashes and Allura tripped over her own weapon. (Not to mention, Leandro broke his leg, Hunk was basically vibrating with fear and I was. well. I was fine considering but I'm EIGHT YEARS OLD. SOMEONE WATCH THE BABY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. That whole mission was a bloodbath. Defenders of the galaxy my ass)**

**Whatever. You can go back in my notes a couple pages and see exactly what I'm talking about. My point here is that it was better. Red and Allura are a really great pair. They caught the guy and unmasked them scooby-doo style. The guy turned out to be the queen's ex lover, a girl named Tailexis.**

**Apparently, she and the queen had a wedding in the woods and they were going to run away together, except the queen decided that as the only heir to the throne, she should accept her responsibilities. This sent Tailexis into a tailspin and made her want revenge. We sent her to the Xirexia jail and all's well that ends well.**

**Quoth Hunk "The drama. Not to be rude because this is none of my business and seems upsetting but holy fuck the DRAMAAAAAAAAA")**

**Until next time,**

**Pidge.**

* * *

"That was incredible, Allura," Red tossed her helmet aside, revealing the tangled mess beneath.

"You thought I was incredible? You were incredible!" Allura beamed, discarding her own armor, "It's so good to finish a mission without something going horribly wrong!"

"Must be a miracle," Red winced as she reached for one of the buckles on her armor. 

"Are you alright?" Allura furrowed her brow.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Red answered, unconvincingly.

"You most certainly do not look fine," Allura protested.

"I'm sure it's nothing. I just got thrown against the wall kind of hard when that wannabe assassin shot me," Red explained, "but I'm fine."

"Do you need help with your armor?" Allura asked.

"I've got this, thanks," Red bit down on her lip to keep from hissing.

"Are you sure, because you look like you're in pain."

"I'm fine. You don't have to-"

"Red." 

"What?"

"I'm helping you."

"Okay."

Allura approached Red slowly like she was afraid Red would jump. She was much more careful than Red was with her own armor. Allura was delicate. She was tough as nails when she wanted to be, but she was still graceful. Red wondered if she would be as calm as Allura was right now if the situation was the other way around. No, if when Allura was taken down with that bot was any indication. 

Red had been much calmer when her fellow students at the garrison had gotten injured. When Red had gotten injured, too. What had caused her to freak out? Red didn't freak out. She just didn't. Was it because she cared? No, that couldn't be it, because Allura cared about her and she remained composed just fine. 

"Thanks," Red murmured as Allura discarded the last piece of armor. 

"You're welcome," Allura locked eyes with her, "I do need to see the injury."

"What? Why?" Red jumped up.

"I need to determine if your injury is minor," Allura explained.

"What's the point? Even if it is major, it's not like you can put me in a cryopod anyway," Red pointed out.

"I have learned a lot about human injuries during your time here. I can help you if you just let me..." Allura reached for her, and she backed away.

"Allura, I'm not showing you! I'm fine!" Red began trying to make her escape.

"Red, quit being a baby," Allura chased after her.

"I'm not being a baby," Red protested, opening the door.

"Then let me tend to it!"

"No!" Red was sprinting now, running laps around the red lion's hangar.

"Coward!" Allura accused. 

"I'm fine!" Red insisted as Allura held caught her by the back of the collar.

"Alright, now, where is the injury?" Allura asked, spinning Red around by the shoulder.

"If I'm well enough to run away from you-"

"What a thorough job you did of that," Allura finished, "Now, then."

"This is humiliating," Red groaned.

"We could have done this the easy way, but you decided it would be more fun to make a fool of yourself."

"Ugh," Red rolled her eyes. She turned and lifted the back of her shirt to reveal a very large, deep purple bruise.

"Holy quiznak, Red," Allura responded, "okay, now, does it hurt when I do this?"

"Fuck!" Red answered, "Yes. Jesus. Don't do that again."

"How about...When I press down here?"

"No, that doesn't hurt," Red mumbled.

"Well, good! Your spine isn't fractured or damaged in any major way," Allura nodded slowly.

"I'm pretty sure I would notice if I broke my spine," Red pointed out.

"Oh, you would notice," Allura agreed, "but you'd try to power through anyway because you're out of your mind."

"Hm," Red tried to protest, but she really couldn't. 

"I know exactly what would help," Allura beamed, "come with me."

Allura held onto Red's wrist and dragged her halfway across the castle. They approached a small closet and Allura finally let go of Red, opening the door.

"What is this room?" Red asked. there were shelves and shelves of various plants and what seemed to be herbs, small vials and various potion looking bottles.

"This is the first aid stuff for, well, an emergency situation such as this one where the cryopods are not available. I never saw the use until recently," Allura sifted through the contents of each shelf, "Zarkon used to say that keeping emergency supplies around was like inviting emergency in. I always agreed, but I guess we know now why he said that. Where is this stuff?"

"I guess that's how you patched up Leandro," Red looked around the room. there was dust everywhere.

"Ah, here it is!" Allura was practically on the shelf herself, hunched over the thing like she was trying to climb onto it. She jumped down.

"What is that?" Red stared down the container in her hands. It looked like face cream. The container was purple. Allura unhooked the lid.

"This is juniberry replenishing cream," Allura answered, "you put it on when you go to sleep. Sleep on your stomach. It will absorb through your back and in no more than three quintents, your bruise should be gone."

Red reached into the container. stuff was grainy. and sticky. She cringed and removed her hand.

"Allura, I'm not sleeping with that on my back," Red rubbed it off on the stomach of her shirt.

"Come on," Allura waved the container in her face. It smelled like death, "it should still be good. The expiration date is just a question symbol."

"I'm not putting it on," Red grimaced.

"Well, if you insist," Allura slyly smiled, "there is another option."

"Whatever it is, give it to me," Red folded her arms. She watched as Allura made her way to the back of the room and picked up the largest syringe Red had ever seen.

"Of course, it needs to be injected right into the bruise, so it's going to hurt. A lot," Allura continued. Red hesitated.

"Give me the damn face cream," Red seethed, snatching it from her.

"Thought so," Allura said smugly, "and it's not just for bruises. It also works for cuts and scrapes."

"Maybe it would take care of this, then?" Red patted her shoulder. She didn't even look up.

"Why? What happened to your shoulder?" Allura asked.

"Oh, uh, It's nothing," Red waved her off.

"Red."

"It's nothing."

"Red!"

"Fine," Red sighed. She pulled down the collar of her shirt. There, on her shoulder, was a small but deep gash.

"What happened?" Allura asked.

"Uh, when we were sparring the other night, and you sort of..." Red trailed off. Allura knew what happened from there.

"When I pushed you off of me and you hit the corner of the wall," Allura finished.

"Yep," Red confirmed, "it was just a small cut. I didn't want to alarm you."

"It looks...bad," Allura said softly.

"It's okay, you didn't mean to," Red shrugged. 

"Right, um," Allura worried her lip, "I'm going to...Pidge's room. I have to talk to her about something."

"Oh. Okay?" Red raised an eyebrow at her flimsy excuse, but she didn't press, "I guess I'll see you at sparring practice?"

"Perhaps another night?" Allura ducked her head to lock eyes with Red, "You're hurt."

"Okay," Red shrugged. Well. That was weird.

* * *

Allura had been avoiding Red. Well, that wasn't exactly accurate, she had to see her at meals and when they passed each other in the hall. But it was...different. Allura wasn't sitting next to her anymore. They'd stopped practicing together. Red had thought nothing of it, well, that was a lie. Red had thought so so much of it. She'd simply assumed she had been overreacting. 

That was until she started hearing noises. Not as loud as the ones she had made, mind you, but still disconcerting. It sounded like tin foil being crunched up. Red climbed out of bed and laced up her shoes as quickly as she could. She skidded around the corner and barely missed crashing into the doors of the training deck.

They slid open in front of her. Her entry was not silent with the creak of the door, but Allura seemed to be too wrapped up in fighting off this hoard of robots to notice her.

"Allura?" Red shouted over the clashing of metal. This time, Allura turned around.

"Red!" Allura jumped back.

"I thought you weren't training this week," Red folded her arms.

"Well, I...uh," Allura was frantic now, and it wasn't just because of the robots. 

"You don't want to spar with me anymore?" Red asked.

"Well..."

"Did I do something wrong?" Red furrowed her brow.

"No, it doesn't have anything to do with you," she lied.

"Then why?" 

"I don't know, Red," Allura sighed.

"You don't know?" Red repeated.

"It's very complex."

"I have time," Red was getting kind of frustrated now.

"Alright," Allura relented, "I suppose I do owe you an explanation...but you're not going to like it."

"Try me."

"Well, and this isn't particularly your fault or anything, but the one thing I have noticed about human biology is that it is fragile."

"What?" 

"I hurt you, Red," Allura finally said.

"Oh," Red stayed quiet for a while after that, not really sure what to do with it. 

"I hope you don't see this as me infantilizing you. I just...if anything bad happened to you because of me not knowing my own strength," Allura bit her nail. Then, more silence.

"You don't need to worry about me, Allura," she said, firmly.

"You have made it very clear you're not one for self-preservation," Allura pointed out, "it worries me, Red. The way that you regard yourself as less important than the rest of us."

"You think I have no sense of self-preservation?" Red asked, "Allura, that's ridiculous."

"The time you decided to go after Zarkon by yourself, the time you put yourself between Leandro as a bullet, the time you put yourself through all those trials with the Blade of Marmora, oh yeah, our first mission without Shiro, when you told us to save ourselves."

"That's not a lack of self-preservation, Allura," Red argued, "it's being a good paladin."

"You being a good paladin does not concern me half as much as you being okay," Allura said, softly.

"Oh," Red was left completely speechless by her remark. 

"If something ever happened to you, god forbid, there could be another paladin for the red lion. It would be difficult, but not impossible. There isn't ever going to be another you," Allura continued.

"Thanks," Red blinked, "thank you. For caring, I mean."

Allura attempted to push back the feeling that Red's surprise at her concern invoked, an ugly emotion between guilt and anger. 

"I care about you, Red, and I know you're a paladin, and you're bound to get hurt no matter how careful we are. That isn't the point. The point is I have no interest in being one who hurts you."

"I trust you," Red said, slowly.

"What?" Allura blinked.

"I trust you," she repeated, "to not hurt me."

“I already did,” Allura pointed out.

“Okay,” Red paused, “I trust you not to hurt me so bad that I’d want to stop sparring with you.”

“Red-”

“You make me a better fighter. You’re not afraid you’re going to break me in half, or something. Even Shiro did. When he was still here, anyway. I have a feeling I’m one of the first to treat you like you can handle yourself, too.”

“Is that why you voted to leave me on an enemy warship, once?”

“Uh.”

“Relax. You’re ardent to a fault. It was rather thoughtful of you to consider what I would have wanted.”

“How did you…”

“Hunk is a gossip. So am I. Between the two of us, there’s not a lot of information that’s secret,” Allura tilted her head, “and my question remains unanswered.”

“Yes,” Red answered hesitantly, “I knew that you were smart and strong enough to not get yourself killed.”

“Good answer. Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’ll keep sparring with you,” Allura lowered her voice like it was a secret, “but only because you make me a better fighter too.”

"Cool," Red smiled. 

"But you have to promise me, promise me, if you get hurt again, you tell me. You don't try to hide it. You don't try to be strong."

"Allura," Red sighed.

"Red, please. I know you have your reasoning. But I have mine, too, and last time I checked-"

"You're kind of the boss," Red finished, running her fingers through her tangled mess of hair, "okay. Okay, no hiding any more injuries. No more self-sacrificial stuff. Got it."

"Good."

"I'm not done yet."

"Oh," Allura's eyebrows raised.

"You don't have to coddle me. In fact, please don't. The fact that you didn't was one of the reasons I like training with you to begin with."

"Alright," Allura sighed, "deal."

"Cool. Now that we got that taken care of, I need a workout."

"Sounds good to me. Your bruise is healed, right?"

"Oh my god, what did I just say about coddling?"

"I'm not coddling. That thing was disgusting. I want to make sure that I'm not going to accidentally touch it."

"No, you're safe," Red laughed.

"Just making sure," Allura grinned, readying herself to fight.

Suddenly, things were okay again.

* * *

**Notes from Katherine "Pidge" Holt's field journal**

**Day 270 (give or take)**

**Subject: Translating Altean books**

**I never considered how hard it is to teach someone how to read until I actually had to do it. I'm not talking about a squishy infant prime for receiving information, I'm talking about Coran, who, unfortunate for that poor sap, has agreed to help me translate the books. I mean, I took a little bit of Hebrew at my mom's suggestion back before the garrison, but my instructor was not a fifteen-year-old asshole who didn't even know the alphabet of the other language to compare.**

**It was Leandro's idea, about five quintents* into trying to teach Coran the difference between there their and they're (fuck the English language). when he caught us both at the business end of a migraine, he showed us once again that he was smarter than all of us. He suggested that Coran READ THE BOOKS ALOUD TO ME SO I CAN HAND TRANSLATE THEM. It was literally too good of an idea. It bypassed my tiny pea brain. I'm learning a lot more than at least he was, and I promised Coran if he ever visited Earth to return the favor.**

**I've been taking notes in a different journal (thanks space mall for having an unlimited supply of paper that seems to be itself crafted completely out of recyclable materials. Like. Shit's made out of leaves or something. Now my need to be surrounded by paper at all times can be fulfilled without any harm coming to the environment.**

**My favorite thing to learn about so far is the traditions of all these different alien species. I mean, it's probably well outdated. I wonder if nowadays there are English audiobooks. Or Spanish for Leandro. Up at the space mall. They have EVERYTHING. Everything.**

**Anyway, Altean culture was, is, really fucking cool. They didn't really have weddings on Altea, but they did have sort of a blood trading ritual that bonds you for life. "That sounds like a good way to get a blood disease"-Hunk.**

**Such ceremonies for gay people were outlawed for many years until very shortly after Alfor became king. Good job, man. They'd vow themselves to each other and do the blood pact thing in an inconspicuous place (It was meant to be the palm of the left hand. Left hands were really significant on Altea I think? I asked Coran about it and he just said a bunch of his weird space old man gibberish.) Anyway, secret ceremonies were done instead by making a small cut at the chest. Which sounds way more dangerous.**

**Anyway, it's pretty fascinating. And metal. It's super metal. I think Coran has a scar on his chest, but it seems invasive to ask about it so I won't. Uh, remind me to cross this out. It's none of your business either. If you're reading this passage FUCK OFF.**

**Oh and the vows. There's a couple of different versions that I won't bore you with but Leandro's favorite is "I will give thou half of my life, and you shall give me half of yours. I give you my blood and together we unite, We shall be alone no longer, as we are intertwined. I will protect your blood and keep it intact, this I promise. We are connected to our very souls, and no opposing force, no war or death or our very skin shall keep our hearts from connecting."**

**It rhymes in Altean. It also sounds like a mass of gibberish, but it is pretty. You can check my Altean culture study book for more notes on such significant ceremonies. I'm excited to learn more.**

**Until next time,**

**Pidge.**

* * *

"Okay, but I think it's like a character-defining trait. Like, if you are going to kill someone, what method do you use?" Allura laid upside down on Red's bed with her head dangling off of it.

"You are so weird," Red rolled her eyes, "the candle in the library?"

"Is that an Earth reference?" Allura rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, sorry," Red sat down next to her, "why would you ask me that, anyway? Are you planning on taking out Hunk?"

"Because," Allura sighed, "I am so bored, and I don't see any other option to kill that boredom that is not coming up with weird questions."

"How would you kill someone if you had to?" Red turned her question back at her.

"Don't be foolish, Red, I would obviously push something heavy onto them," Allura answered.

"Like what?" Red raised an eyebrow.

"A bookshelf, one of those droids, Hunk's giant bayard," Allura began listing things.

"Oh my god, you had that all figured out?" Red scoffed.

"Sure," Allura shrugged, "be prepared, you know."

"Be prepared for what, exactly? You're under attack and for some reason, we can't use any of the weapons on the ship?"

"The Galrans ate the weapons," Allura suggested.

"Okay," Red laughed, "I'd probably send them out into space to suffocate or like, catch fire."

"Smart," Allura locked eyes with Red, "okay, now you ask me one."

"Uh," Red paused, "I dunno, tell me the dumbest thing you did. Something you knew you were dead if you were caught doing it but you had to."

"Alright, um," Allura furrowed her brow, "One time, I convinced Blaytz to help me shave off my father's beard while he slept."

"Why?"

"Well, I was upset I had to wear this hideous dress for a diplomatic meeting. It came with a large head covering and a massive puffy thing around my neck. My father told me that I had a responsibility to be there and it was silly to concern myself with appearances. He had to go to a meeting with a bald face. Blaytz commented he looked like an infant."

"Oh my god," Red laughed.

"Now you go."

"My stupid things aren't funny," Red protested.

"It's okay," Allura said, "I mean, of course, if you feel uncomfortable sharing..."

"No, it's," Red looked away, "so uh. I was like. Back before the Garrison..."

"Yes?" 

"I had one friend before Shiro. Her name was Marie. And she and I got into all sorts of trouble together. And like. I didn't know I was a lesbian yet! How was I supposed to? I seemed like just a straight guy. But regardless, I fell for her pretty hard."

"Uh oh."

"Yeah. And she had this boyfriend, who didn't like that we hung out. I didn't like him either. He was a jackass. Anyway, they broke up. And I thought, you know, maybe now she'll go out with me. So, even though I was bad at feelings, I wrote her a letter and slipped it into her locker."

"Uh oh," Allura said again, louder.

"She came into school that day and told me that they had gotten back together. But I couldn't get my note back. And she read it, and her boyfriend found out."

"Was he upset?"

"He gave me a black eye," Red answered, "so, of course, naturally, I beat the shit out of him."

"Quiznak."

"Small detail I forgot to mention...he was the son of the dean."

"How much trouble did you get in?"

"I was suspended. I had to write an essay apologizing to him. My foster parents at the time had to report it. And when I got back to school...Marie wouldn't talk to me anymore."

Allura sat up. She didn't know what to say now.

"Red..."

"Like I said. It was stupid," Red shrugged.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," Allura put a hand on Red's shoulder.

"Don't get all emotional on me. It's fine," Red insisted, taking Allura's hand, "unrelated, do you want to talk about literally anything else?"

"Sure," Allura straightened her spine, "actually, there is something that I wanted to talk to you about."

"What?" Red asked. Allura absentmindedly ran her thumb over Red's.

"Well, it has come to mine and Coran's attention that even with Zarkon's reign over, some of the more heinous practices that thrived under him are still alive and well."

"Like what?" Red asked.

"Remember those prisoners we rescued who knew Shiro as the gladiator?"

"Yeah?" Red furrowed her brow.

"Those still exist, the fact they are illegal is purely inconsequential to these people. And, well, I've been tipped off to one, in particular, that is very nearby."

"I'm in. But why didn't you say something before?" Red asked.

"Well, that's the thing," Allura bit her lip, "this is a very high stakes mission, Red. Now that these things are illegal, they are higher security. It's more dangerous than ever to go on a mission of this caliber. I don't want more people involved than there has to be, in case something goes wrong."

"What happens if something DOES go wrong?" Red asked.

"I have a comm device with me and I'm prepared to provide you with one as well. They're very small and very discreet. If we get captured, we can alert the others. I'm taking every precaution. I don't want anyone following us. We're taking an old Galran ship that Hunk salvaged just in case we ever needed to camouflage."

"Because it worked out so well the last time we ran off together?" Red sighed, "Why me?"

"Because," Allura answered, "you are Galran."

"Only half," Red pointed out. 

"It's enough. If we disguise you, you would pass any identification measures that they administer," Allura explained.

"What if they get ahold of the comm devices?" Red asked.

"Well..." Allura turned her head and pointed at the stud on her ear.

"Woah," Red marveled at it, "where did you even get that?"

"Hunk invented it, actually. It's survived a few initial tests, and I think it's ready to go on a mission," Allura pulled out a set for Red.

"You really have thought of everything."

"Even still, the paranoia that I have forgotten something is plaguing me," Allura furrowed her brow, "so, would you join me for this mission?"

"When were you planning this suicide mission for?"

"Well, actually..." Allura locked eyes with Red.

"Are you kidding me?" Red crossed her arms.

"Red."

"Yeah, sure, let's just invade an enemy ship in the middle of the night by ourselves," Red mumbled.

"You're beginning to sound like Hunk," Allura warned, "people are dying. I want to minimize casualties as much as I possibly can."

"Okay," Red sighed, "okay. Let's do it."

"I knew I could count on you," Allura beamed, "okay. Everyone should be asleep by now."

"Jesus Christ. Is that why you were talking to me for so long? Were you stalling?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Red," Allura rolled her eyes.

"Right. Sorry," Red worried her lip until she could taste copper.

"Believe me, I'm much tenser about this than you are," Allura frowned, "but there are lives at stake. We may not have another opportunity to help these people."

"Okay," Red stood, "I trust your judgment."

"We've gotta move before anyone notices we're gone," Allura continued.

"Well, what do we need?"

"Costumes," Allura answered. Her stomach turned. She knew all too well what Galran outlaws were capable of. If they lived, they would rank among the luckiest souls in the galaxy.

* * *

Galran ships flew differently from the lions, different from any ship that Red had piloted, in fact. Every planet was different, Red assumed. The ship moved slowly through the sky like a bug swimming through molasses. It was different, that was for sure.

"Are you sure you don't want to drive?" Red asked. The ship groaned with every movement.

"Fly this deathtrap? No thanks," Allura scoffed, clinging to Red's shoulders. There was only one seat on this ship. Galrans were loners. They often lived and traveled alone, at least according to Pidge's research. Red found a small amount of irony in that. 

"Are you okay back there?" Red asked.

"Yes. This ship doesn't move as smoothly as the red lion, but I'm fine," Allura assured her.

"You would know," Red furrowed her brow in concentration. Her arms were vibrating.

"At this rate, I should have an extra seat installed in the red lion," Allura laughed.

"That's the first thing I'm doing when we find Shiro," Red pushed the accelerator and the ship moved probably half a mile an hour faster than before.

"Why just when we find Shiro?" Allura asked.

"I mean, I can't be the only one thinking that you should pilot the black lion until we find him," Red didn't take her eyes off the filthy window.

"Where is this coming from?" Allura tried to remain calm, but the vibrating ship wasn't the only reason she was having trouble keeping her voice steady.

"I don't like it either, but Shiro wanted-"

"Shiro wanted you to pilot the black lion if something ever happened to him," Allura corrected, loosening her grip on Red.

"Allura, I'm not cut out for that, you know I'm not. I know I'm not. I'm a good fighter, but I'm also impulsive and reckless. I have anger issues. I'm not gonna make a good leader," Red pointed out, "but you would."

"I'm not piloting the black lion, Red. Drop it," Allura lowered her voice, "he probably wouldn't even let me take control of him."

"He will," Red assured her, "when me and Shiro were on that desert planet, and Shiro was in trouble, he let me take control."

"He what?" Allura fell completely backward.

"Are you okay?" Red asked.

"This wasn't information that you thought needed to be shared?" Allura gripped the seat firmly with one hand.

"I didn't think it was useful," Red answered, "I have a lion to pilot. Even if the black lion chose me, which he didn't, because if he had I wouldn't be able to pilot the red lion anymore."

"We don't know for sure that's how it works," Allura protested.

"Allura, even if I could pilot the black lion, who would pilot my lion?"

"I could," Allura answered.

"What?" 

"My father piloted the red lion. Maybe it's written into my genetic code. My destiny."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how it works either," Red gritted her teeth.

"Well, we won't know unless we try."

"Why are you fighting this so hard?" Red asked.

"Why are you?" Allura retorted. 

"I'm fighting this because I'm not a leader. I'd get us all killed. You'd make a great head to Voltron, at least while Shiro's gone."

"Red, please."

"The black lion will choose you."

"Drop. It."

"You just need to establish trust with him, and he'll let you-"

"He won't!" 

"How do you know?" Red demanded.

"I just do!" 

"How can you be sure that the black lion won't choose you?"

"Because he already has!" Allura blurted out.

"What?" Red tore her eyes from the window.

"I can explain," Allura calmed her voice.

"How long?" Red asked.

"Red," Allura pleaded.

"How long have you known?" Red's voice wavered.

"Well," Allura took a deep breath, "remember the first night we trained together?"

"That long?" Red was shouting now.

"Lower your voice," Allura told her.

"That's time we could have been using," Red said under her breath, "we could have been on our feet by now. We could have helped so many people and you don't want to be the pilot because you, what, didn't feel like it?"

"That's not for you to speculate on."

"We could have found Shiro by now," Red continued, "did that concern you at all? Did it cross your mind even once?"

"Of course it did, but-"

"But what? I'm so fucking curious as to why you decided my best friend's life and the fate of the galaxy was less important than your fucking feelings."

"That's not fair," Allura growled, "it's not fair and you know it, Red. If you were in my shoes, and you were, Red! You'd understand why I don't want to pilot the black lion."

"I don't," Red gripped the helm so hard she thought she would break it off the ship, "I don't understand. I never will. We are not the same."

Red landed the ship on the cargo bay of their destination. They approached the entryway as carefully as they could, watching the bouncer's movements as he exchanged tickets for what appeared to be some kind of currency.

"I know we're both furious with each other," Allura whispered, "but we need to put our feelings aside for the sake of these prisoners. Can you do that, Red?"

"I can do that," Red scoffed. 

They approached the bouncer. Allura pulled out what appeared to be Galran tokens. How she got ahold of those was unclear. 

"Evening, ladies," the Galran man tipped his hat towards them.

"Evenin' sir," Red greeted, forcing a smile, "two tickets, please."

"Not so fast," He spoke slowly, "do you ladies know the code?"

"Uh," Red looked towards Allura.

"The wolf and the lion meet at midnight to settle the score," Allura chimed in.

"That's it," the bouncer grinned, "that will be ten thirds."

Allura and Red locked eyes. Allura had only brought eight. It must have been promotional pricing that the guy Allura got her information from was referring to. Red took the tokens and nodded.

"Here you go, sir," Red's voice slipped into a bit of a southern drawl, "this must be such a lonely job to do, what with nobody by your side."

"It does get a bit lonely," the bouncer agreed.

"Your wife must miss you so much while you're out here," Red twirled her hair around her finger.

"No wife for me, I'm afraid," he shook his head solemnly.

"Oh I can't believe that. You're so handsome," Red winked at him.

"You're very kind," the bouncer giggled, pocketing the coins before he had the chance to count them, "you ladies have a lovely evening."

"Thanks, handsome," Red grinned. 

"What," Allura asked as they passed through the door, "on Altea."

"Shut up. It worked, didn't it?" Red looked back towards the entrance, "Remind me to kill that guy on our way out."

"With pleasure," Allura agreed. She glanced around. The ship itself was circular, entrances to different seating areas wrapping around the inner part of the building with concessions on the outside. She glanced through the cage-like material surrounding the stadium. If the entrance for the prisoners was there then the upstairs entrance must be...bingo. She dragged Red towards the doorway at the end of the concessions stands.

Imagine Allura's surprise when she found that the entrance she had pinpointed was also the entrance to the bathroom.

"Allura, that's not-" Red tried to protest.

"Just follow me, would you?" Allura asked. The ship only had one bathroom, and it showed with the stench the room emanated. She ran her hands along the chrome panels of the wall until she felt a loose one. She pressed down, and it slid open, revealing a vestibule with a door inside.

"Wow, they're lucky nobody has ever leaned on this wall before," Red commented.

"Authorized personnel only," Allura read. There was a hand scanner at about waist level to Red, "press your hand down on this."

"I'm not authorized personnel," Red pointed out.

"Oh, right," Allura then took out a small vial of a powdery substance and poured some of it on the scanner, "now try."

"If you say so," Red sighed, doing as she was told. The door beeped and slid open. A long staircase was behind it.

"Good work, let's move," Allura commanded. They made their way down the stairs. 

As Allura suspected, there were rows and rows of small cells filled with people begging Red and Allura not to hurt them. It made their stomachs crawl.

"We're here to help," Red whispered, "but you have to be quiet."

"Red, I'm going to put this powder on each of these scanners. I want you to be as quick as you possibly can," Allura instructed, not taking her eyes off one of the scanners.

Red opened her mouth to speak, but she didn't get to respond before she was knocked unconscious by something sharp piercing her skin.

* * *

Red woke up before Allura did. Two people were talking loudly. She opened her eyes. Her vision was hazy, and out of focus, but she could tell she was on the floor of one of the cells.

"So he's gonna make them fight for their lives," one guard said, rather boredly.

"And it doesn't bother you at all that one of them is Galran?" the other asked.

"She's only half Galran," the first guard pointed out, sipped from a mug.

"What about the other one? We don't even know what she is," the second guard continued.

"We don't need to know. He doesn't care."

"But what about the ship? It's one of ours. That's not a little alarming to you?"

"Nope. Boss's orders. It's getting thrown out with the bodies and the rest of the trash."

"Couldn't he sell the parts?"

"Man, you ask too many questions. It's just a job. You show up and you keep your head down."

"Sorry."

"It's alright, sorry I yelled."

Red could feel herself slipping back out of consciousness. Her vision darkened and pulsed until she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore.

"Come in Hunk, come in!" Allura desperately paced the cell, "The signal's jammed. Must be a precaution against show piracy."

"Jesus," Red sat up, "what's going on?"

"My comm device isn't working, we're in a cell if you haven't noticed, and we're supposed to fight to the death any tick now!"

"Shit!" Red stood, "Shit!"

"I agree. We're doomed!" Allura huffed, "This is all my fault."

"Hey, it's okay," Red approached her.

"I'm still furious with you, and there's no clear way out of this situation, so don't even attempt to comfort me. It's patronizing, Red."

"Alright!" Red huffed, "We're like, ten minutes away from having to kill each other, so if there was a time to make up."

"Logic has no place in an illegal Galran fighting stadium!" Allura pointed out.

"You're panicking," Red blinked, "this is a bad time to freak out."

"Yes I am panicking!" Allura snapped, "This is a perfect time to freak out. The fact you haven't joined me is highly concerning!"

Red peered outside of the cell. There were no guards in sight. Probably all guarding that bathroom entrance, getting ready for the next fight.

“I have a plan,” Red announced. Allura did not invite her to elaborate. She did, however, get huffy when Red didn’t.

“Well?” she asked, finally.

“You’re not going to like it,” Red warned.

“Can’t be much worse than being trapped in a small room with you.”

“First off, we do the battle,” Red ignored her little jab, which only served to get a rise out of Allura.

“No,” Allura interrupted.

“I’d win. Stabbing you in the gut. They’ll think you’re dead and dispose of you. The same place they put the bodies.”

“Not liking this plan. It has many fatal flaws, At the top of that list is the question of how you would escape.”

“I uh,” Red bit her lip, “I don’t.”

“No,” Allura said again, this time with a quieter but more powerful tone.

“I’d hang in there a few days while you-”

“It’s absolutely out of the question,” Allura declared, “I have had it with your martyr complex.”

“You got a better idea?”

“Any idea is better than me leaving you for dead,” Allura was furious at the suggestion, but something in her eyes whispered a plea.

“You wouldn’t be leaving me for dead. You’d just be getting out of here for long enough to get help.”

“No, no I can’t,” Allura’s voice trembled, “I can’t do that to you.”

“It’s going to be okay.”

“I could fail to escape. I could fail to reach the castle of lions before….before,” Allura was crying now. 

“Hey, look at me,” Red placed a hand on Allura’s cheek, “I trust you.”

Something in Allura completely broke in half. 

“Even though-”

“Yes,” Red continued, “but if I’m going to trust you, I need you to trust me.”

“Trust you?”

“To not get myself killed,” Red answered. She removed her hand, and Allura made an effort to suppress her urge to place a hand on Red’s cheek in turn.

“Okay,” Allura said finally, "okay. I trust you."

* * *

"It's time, ladies," the guard opened the cell door with a solemn expression, "I'm so sorry."

Red silently wondered if he extended this same sympathy to the other prisoners. she doubted it. The idea it was because she was Galran made her skin crawl. She quite honestly hoped that they were just sexist, pitying them for being girls. That certainly made her want to vomit less. 

The two stood and followed after him. The long corridor echoed with silence, prisoners hanging their heads.

"Listen, if I die-" Red started.

"Don't finish that sentence," Allura told her.

"Those things that I said...I just want you to know..."

"You don't have to say it. I know. And those things I said-"

"I know," Red shot her a small smile.

"I'm glad we met," Allura's voice was quiet as a mouse. She took Red's hand as they walked into the stadium.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" The announcer shrieked, "place your bets now. Do you think the half-human will take down our mystery girl?" 

The crowd cheered. It made Red want to set the place on fire. The announcer grinned from his metal cage dangling above the stadium.

"Let's give these bastards a show," Red swung for Allura with her knife. Allura ducked, sweeping Red's leg out from under her. The crowd went insane, cheering so loud Red thought she might go deaf. She dove for Allura again and Allura hit her in the stomach with the blunt edge of her weapon. Allura lifted her and threw her not quite as hard as she could. Red landed hard.

Red coughed as she pulled herself up. It couldn't be too fast. They agreed that if they finished too soon, it would look suspicious. Allura was to have the upper hand for most of the fight, as she was larger and physically stronger. 

Allura approached her and swung a punch at her. It wouldn't leave a bruise, but motherfuck did that hurt. She swung back at Allura, making contact with her jaw. Allura stumbled back there. The crowd was louder than ever. It was time for the big finish. 

Allura picked Red up by the shoulders and slammed her into the wall. She nodded at Red. She plunged the blade into Allura, just below her chest. 

"Stay safe. Please," Allura instructed her. She let go of her weight and dropped backward. Using her shapeshifting capabilities, she drained the color from her face. It was sickening.

"We have a winner!" The announcer cheered. Two guards grabbed Red by the shoulders. They dragged her back to her cell kicking and screaming. It was just an act, she reminded herself. It was just an act.

* * *

Allura, like Red said, had been dumped in a large cargo area with trash. There weren't dead bodies to speak of, and she thanked heaven. There was, however, a lot of trash. She removed the blade and pulled herself up. She caught sight of the ship in the middle of the room. 

It wasn't long before the hatch opened. It was an efficient yet completely irresponsible way to dispose of trash. Allura started up the ship as fast as she could. Allura would be back. She swore. She swore.

* * *

**Notes from Katherine "Pidge" Holt's field journal (scrapped)**

**Day 200 (give or take)**

**Subject: Cats**

**Cats seem to be a constant: Every planet we visit has cats. From cats back home to the Altean lions. It's very strange. If humans are not a constant, then why are cats?**

**I've always loved cats. I've never been able to have one, my dad's allergic. But I do like them. I've always thought they were so sweet. They're curious and smart. And if you approach them on their terms, they're very loyal and trusting.**

**Animals are strange. They don't have the processing power people do, yet they have so much love in their hearts. Even when bad things happen to them, when they live in bad environments, abused, neglected, abandoned, etc, you can still earn their trust. And if you do, they love you so much more.**

**Fuck. I miss my dog.**

**-Pidge**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We can leave this world, leave it all behind  
> We can steal this car if your folks don't mind  
> We can live forever if you've got the time  
> I'm the only friend that makes you cry  
> You're a heart attack in black hair dye  
> So just save yourself and I'll hold them back tonight


	2. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think of me when you're out  
> When you're out there  
> I'll beg you nice from my knees  
> And when the world treats you way too fairly  
> Well it's a shame I'm a dream  
> All I wanted was you  
> All I wanted was you

**Notes from Katherine “Pidge” Holt’s field journal**

**Day 290 (give or take)**

**Mission #60**

**She crashed into the ship. Allura, after two days of being missing alongside Red, crashed into the ship with that Galran heap of trash Hunk and I were studying. She explained frantically that Red was in danger (we later found out she was aboard an illegal Galran fighting ship) and told us we needed to go right away. She went with Leandro armed, apparently cursing under her breath that she didn't bring weapons the first time around, thinking they would be dangerous.**

**She and Leandro tracked down the trip, freed all prisoners aboard and wiped out the staff as efficiently as they could and keeping their eyes out for Red. But they were too late.**

**Her cell was empty. She wasn't dead though, as explained by one of the prisoners, a fellow named Blaine. She was just relocated to another ship after her even being there sparked controversy amongst the patrons, as a half-Galra. Even though it seems that these bastards devalue half, quarter, etc Galrans, she's still, you know. Galran. In any case, I'm glad that we managed to rescue all of these people. They should make a recovery before we return them to the planets, but Coran is still working on repairing the cryopods. It's going to be a couple of days, at least.**

**As for Allura, well. She's not doing great with the whole thing. Coran is livid. And he can't yell at her because she's, you know, kind of his boss, but he's still absolutely furious that they would try to conduct a mission by themselves with no backup plan. And I know the thought process and Coran is a good dude and sort of her space legal guardian and I've never seen him in any other mood than what Leandro and I have dubbed "Enthusiastic Uncle", but like. She knows dude, she knows. She's devastated, and furious, and after everything happened she just locked herself in her room.**

**I hope she's okay even though being okay is out of character for her right now. I think being okay is out of character right now for all of us. We already lost Shiro, and now Red is gone. And we have no idea where the fuck she is, we don't know what the fuck she's doing, we just know that she's somewhere in the thirteenth galaxy. For now, at least, but it would take months for any ship to get out of here. I'm optimistic that we'll find her before that.**

**That's a lie, I'm not optimistic at all. But Jesus fucking christ, one of us has got to be.**

**Till next time,**

**Pidge**

* * *

It occurred to Allura a few nights later that she still had her comm device on her, and outside of the ship, she could probably use it to contact Red. So she pressed the button down on her earlobe and talked as loudly as she could, trying not to let her voice shake.

"Red, this is Allura," she felt hope flutter in her heart. Just a little. But it was enough. 

Static yelled back in her ear. She tried not to reflexively cover them.

"Red, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can, please respond."

Another moment of silence as her hope grew dimmer. She screamed once, twice, a thousand times for Red to please answer her if she could hear her. Nothing. 

Allura broke down in tears, heavy sobs. Her face was hot. She thought about how Red knew this mission was risky. Yet she went along anyway because she trusted Allura. The princess didn't dare consider a separate conclusion. This was all her fault. The thought echoed in her head until she couldn't hear anything else. 

The only thing that broke through was the thought that she needed to find Red like she needed air to breathe.

* * *

**Notes from Katherine "Pidge" Holt's field journal**

**Day 331**

**The rescued prisoners have made a full recovery. Obviously it would not be practical to transport them individually as I don't think any one of them is from the same planet and according to Coran they branch off from eight different galaxies. But we did take them to a safe haven planet that will provide them with free transportation back home.**

**The castle has made several strides in repairs, the cryopods* are almost completely recovered thanks to some space magic Coran pulled on it. Castle systems are working slowly still, but better than before. it's estimated we will have systems up and running just like normal in about four spicolian movements* which is honestly huge.**

**Coran and I have translated about 50 books in the Altean library on the ship's castle, which is a very small fraction but I'm proud of our progress so far.**

**Jeez, what else?**

**Red is still out there. We don't know where she is but Hunk and I have been working on engineering an updated version of our comm devices which, we'll be honest, we never needed to use outside of the ship. We're hoping to make them backward compatible so that we can use it with the older model that we HOPE Red is still wearing. If she's not we're basically fucked, like we're fucked with finding Shiro.**

**A few days ago me and Hunk had a breakthrough that it requires a stronger signal to speak to a person out of range than it is to track them. This breakthrough is of course great, but it means a great deal of our research thusfar is rendered void on account of we were pretty much attacking the problem backward.**

**Today, Hunk brought me new blueprints for a design he evidently stayed up for three days straight designing (hand-printed copy of the blueprints on the other side of this entry)**

**Allura has been attempting to stay strong for us, but we can tell she's just not the same as she was before all of this took place. She's quiet. VERY quiet. Like, alarmingly quiet. No pep talks, no we're the hope for the galaxy type speeches, she just tells us what our mission for the day is and then just stays quiet for the remainder of the day unless one of us asks a question. It's like....scary**

**Anyway, I wanted to write this update to log our breakthrough and progress, seeing as how I've been severely slacking due to working day and night even though when the stars are always out and you never see sunlight it's basically always night to find something to track down Red with. Of course all the while continuing our pursuit of Shiro.**

**Till next time,**

**Pidge**

* * *

"So this thing you've invented will..." her brow knit together.

"Hopefully," Pidge answered.

"I sent a prototype with that Blaine guy," Hunk chimed in, "he got on a ship to go home earlier today. So, if it works, we should be able to track him now."

"I'm surprised we had someone willing to be a guinea pig for us that wasn't Leandro," Pidge added, not speaking to anybody in particular.

"What's a guinea pig?" Allura asked. 

"Nevermind," Hunk waved her off.

"But If I plug this into the castle mainframe, it should track Blaine's exact coordinates," Allura continued.

"If the software is working like we thought it was," Pidge took the other comm device from Allura's hand. Hunk helped her plug it in. The screen lit up, displaying information that meant nothing to Allura, it was all in English because Pidge and Hunk designed the code, but she could tell it was working.

"Looks like Blaine is in his own galaxy, just passing the planet Nyrathix. He should be arriving home in two quintents, before daybreak on his own planet based on the speed he's moving at," Hunk read aloud.

"That's incredible!" Allura lit up, "you both are so wonderful. Thank you."

"Aw," Hunk smiled, "you're welcome, Princess."

"Could we try it with my comm device now?" Allura asked, anxious again.

"Absolutely," Hunk reached out his hand. 

Allura slowly took the comm device out of her ear. She hadn't taken it out since she and Red had been separated. She stared at the small piece of metal that sat in the palm of her hand and squeezed her fist closed. This had to work. She wouldn't know what to do with herself if it didn't. She gently placed it in Hunk's hand, chest palpitating. 

Hunk removed the other piece and screwed the new one gently into the device, hoping this would work. A few seconds of silence and the screen finally lit up with new information, glowing dark blue against the cyan of the window. 

"She's," Hunk paused, "she's in a field of meteors on the west end of the galaxy. Close."

"Is she okay?" Allura asked.

"I don't know. She shouldn't be dead, or the device would most likely have been able to scan a lack of vitals," Hunk looked at her, "still, a meteor shower is pretty dangerous. We should probably get to her first thing in the morning."

"First thing?" Allura repeated, baffled, "Red is in danger. We have to get to her."

"I understand your want to save her, Princess, but it's not safe to go on a mission like this at night," Hunk pointed out, "the castle power system is dormant, and it's really fragile right now. We're not supposed to exceed thirteen Vargas a day of power. If we try to rescue Red now, we could lose the castle completely."

Allura wanted to snap that she didn’t care. Not about anything, not about the risks. and that realization burned at the back of her throat and stung the corners of her eyes. She didn’t care about anything in that moment except for Red. Making sure she was alive. That she was okay.

This would be sweet if Allura was anyone else, if she wasn’t a princess. The castle was their biggest asset, aside from the lions. They couldn't lose it. She wasn't going to risk everything getting Red. She felt ashamed that she wanted to.

To someone like Allura, Red was a problem. One that Allura wasn’t pressed to find the solution to.

"First thing in the morning," Allura repeated instead, "I trust that we're going to be able to stick to that."

"Yeah, no problem," Hunk nodded. 

"I'm not even gonna sleep. I'm gonna sit in my room in my armor. I'm not even gonna plug my headphones in so I can hear any alerts. That's how pro getting this thing done the first thing in the morning I am," Pidge added.

"Thank you both," Allura said, not taking her eyes off of the letters on the screen, "but both of you should get some rest." 

"Princess, are you sure that-" Hunk elbowed Pidge in the gut before she could finish talking. 

"You too, Allura. Goodnight," Hunk told her.

"Goodnight," Pidge echoed.

If anyone wasn't going to be sleeping, it was Allura. She was too nauseous to sleep, too terrified to even move. Allura was frozen still in front of the console, staring at letters that she could not read, knowing that they meant hope.

* * *

Allura stayed up, plotting a safe extraction of Red. It was going to be tricky. There was little chance any ship that they used wouldn't get damaged in the process. She wrung her mind all night coming up with something, and by morning she had managed to figure out how to rescue Red without getting anybody killed. 

When it clicked, as soon as it clicked, she ran outside of her room. Coran and Hunk were already awake. It was perfect. 

"Princess, are you sure that this is a good idea?" Coran asked, reading her plan over and over.

"What if something goes wrong?" Hunk asked.

"Always the optimist, Hunk," Allura took the plan back from Coran, "this is the best plan that I could come up with. It's a little dangerous, and I think that I should be the one to do it."

"Absolutely out of the question," Coran stood up.

"I got Red into this," Allura pointed out, "if it wasn't for me, she would be safe. I'm not endangering the lives of anybody else."

"I promised your father I would look after you," Coran said, a little stern, "I doubt that watching you lower yourself into a field of asteroids is what he had in mind."

"I'm nearly nineteen," Allura snapped, "I can handle myself just fine, thanks."

It was a strange relationship, that of Coran and Allura. She was a princess, and he was a royal advisor. Technically, she was in charge of him. But without parents to look after her, Coran had been something of a guardian. He always had her best interest at heart, though when he got on Allura's nerves, that was rarely obvious. And he did treat her like a child sometimes without meaning to. 

"Princess," Coran protested.

"Please, Coran. It's our only choice," Allura softened her tone, and something in that broke through to Coran.

"Alright," he relented, "promise me you'll be careful."

"I promise," Allura squeezed his hand.

* * *

The asteroid field that Red was trapped in was not all that dangerous, as far as asteroid fields went. It was still deadly, but if it had been moving at any higher a pace it could have destroyed Red's ship. Allura didn't want to think about that now. She suited up.

Her plan was simple. She needed to attach the ship Red was in to the castle of lions and have it carried away. Allura didn't dare think of how it couldn't go wrong, though. 

"Good luck," Coran put a hand on her shoulder and gripped it tight. She nodded, grabbing the cord with one hand. 

The hatch opened, and Allura jumped down. It was a twenty-foot drop by Pidge's estimates. Allura made contact with the ship. She dodged a small asteroid headed her way and hooked the claws of the tether to the roof of the ship. She opened the small door at the roof and climbed inside.

Her eyes fell immediately to Red, laying in the seat of the ship. Allura cautiously approached her. She was wearing a suit, thank goodness. Her skin looked a bit pale and her eyes were screwed shut.

"I'm in," Allura said, staring at Red's face.

"Do you see Red?" Leandro asked.

"Yes, she's," Allura froze when she noticed a small bit of fog appear at the base of the helmet. She was breathing, "she's alive."

"Thank god," Leandro said, and there were a chorus of relieved sighs behind him.

"I'm pulling you up now. Hold on to something sturdy," Coran instructed. Allura held onto Red's seat. The whole ship shook as Coran pushed the retract button, but it did not budge.

"Princess, it isn't working," Coran said. Yeah, she could see that. 

"Hold on. Stop trying to retract it," Allura instructed. 

Allura needed to work fast. She slung Red over her shoulder and climbed as quickly as she could through the hatch on the roof. She had one shot at this. She carefully unclasped the claws tethering the two ships, stomping her foot down to keep it from flying upwards as she undid it.

"Allura?" Coran asked.

"Push the button," Allura said, wrapping herself around the rope.

"That is definitely not safe," Hunk chimed in.

"It would be preferable," Allura gritted her teeth, "if you could pull us up before we get hit by an asteroid."

This time there were no complaints. The rope retreated at frightening speeds, Allura holding as tight as she could without losing her grip on Red. They hit the ship and Allura kicked her legs over. She pushed herself up with a grunt. Everyone else seemed to be stunned into silence.

"I'll get Red to a healing pod," Leandro volunteered.

"You'll need help. I'll go too," Allura said in a tone of voice that brought her motives to question. Leandro shrugged and took one of Red's arms around his shoulder.

"It's a miracle Red is alive," Leandro observed to nobody in particular, "we don't know how long she was in there, but..."

"The healing pods are still a bit slow, I'm afraid," Coran announced, walking closely behind them, "shouldn't take more than two spicolian movements for Red to be out of there, give or take a few quintents depending on how critical her condition is."

"Thanks, Coran," Allura said, "until then, I'll be setting up a bed arrangement in this room in order to keep a watchful eye on Red."

"You're gonna sleep on the floor?" Leandro asked.

"Of course," Allura answered without looking up. 

* * *

The door of the cryopod pushed open. Red struggled not to stumble as she climbed out of it. Her eyes fell to Allura. Allura. She was safe. Red gave herself a small smile. She was asleep, on a large stack of pillows and blankets. Red felt something crash somewhere in her circulatory system. She paused.

She was definitely not going to go back in the cryopod. That thing gave her nightmares, and she wasn't in critical condition anymore. The fact she was in critical condition at all raised concerns. She also felt a little weird about stepping over Allura to get to her own room if she cared enough to sleep outside of her cryopod. But Red was very, very tired.

Without first thinking, she laid her head down on the pillows surrounding Allura, letting the rest of her body lay on the cold, metal floor. It wasn't long before Red fell asleep again. 

When she woke up again, Allura was already awake, sitting beside her. Unmoving. 

"Morning," Red yawned, sitting up.

"Red," Allura looked like she was going to cry. Instead, she pulled Red into a tight hug. It wasn't the first time Allura had hugged her, but it felt like it was. 

"I'm glad you're okay," Red mumbled, holding Allura so tight she thought her arms might break apart from the force.

"I'm glad you're okay, too," Allura said, muffled from being pressed into Red's shoulder, "what happened?"

"I broke out of the transport ship they were using to get me to a different ship. I've been trying to get back ever since," Red explained.

"How did you survive? Without food, and everything?" Allura asked.

"I had food. Not in the asteroid belt, I mean. But I did."

"I'm so sorry," Allura sobbed, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I got you into this, that I got you hurt, that I-"

"It's okay. It's all okay," Red placed her hand gently at the back of Allura's head, gently smoothing her hair.

"You could have died because of my actions," Allura continued.

"But I didn't. I'm here, Allura. I'm here." 

* * *

Red had been gone for forty-two quintents, put in that cryopod for another two spicolian movements. She'd had it a little rough. Allura was reluctant to train with her right away after her recovery. After all of her protests that she was fine and that Allura didn't have to worry about her, she finally relented. She really hated it when Allura was right. But she did have other things to look forward to-things like Kolivian and The Blade having more assignments for her. 

Right now, though, she was sitting with her friends enjoying some well needed R&R. The other paladins were discussing something dangerous, that being the idea of returning home. They taught students at the Garrison to only let oneself hope enough to keep their motivation. Nothing more, nothing less. Red wondered why she suddenly cared about what the Garrison thought to do, since she couldn't keep that straight when she went there.

"What do you guys miss the most about Earth?" Leandro asked, "I miss the sunset. A real one. The view of the sunset from the beach near my house was so cool."

"I miss rain," Red responded, "I miss the smell of it, too. When you can go outside and just tell that it's gonna rain. I miss that so much."

"I miss summer vacation. Pools and ice cream and stuff like that," Pidge chimed in wistfully, "if I close my eyes and try hard enough I can almost smell it."

"I miss my sisters," Hunk added. All eyes fell on him. He had broken the rule. The silent one that nobody knew was there but Red.

"Dude, that's cheating. We all miss our families," Leandro pointed out, "but if I talk about how much I miss my mom I'm gonna get all weepy."

"I'm just saying, it's nice to know that we have something to go back to," Hunk shrugged. Red stood up. She was going to need a minute. She got up abruptly and walked away without saying goodbye.

"I'll be right back," Allura furrowed her brow, following after Red. Red pretended not to notice Allura behind her for a while. But it wasn't long before Red got frustrated with the whole deal.

"What?" Red huffed, turning on her heel to face Allura.

"It's just...you left so suddenly," Allura began to wonder whether or not she was doing the right thing by making sure Red was okay.

"Yeah, I wanted to leave," Red crossed her arms.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright," Allura said.

"Peachy," Red rolled her eyes, "can I go now?"

"You're not the only one who's lost their family, Red," Allura snapped, "it does not give you or I or anyone for that matter license to get angry at others for talking about theirs."

Red was stunned. Allura was the only one who didn't coddle Red after Shiro's disappearance. She offered support where it was needed but mostly left Red alone about it. Which is why now she had no idea what to say.

"I'm sorry, Allura," Red softened her gaze, "I should have been more sensitive."

"It's alright," Allura paused, "if you ever want to talk."

"I know. Thanks," Red pulled her mouth into a frown, "I should apologize for storming off."

* * *

Allura realized while she was dodging an attack from Red, that she had missed this more than anything else. 

"How have you possibly gotten worse?" Allura teased, tackling Red. 

"I've been unconscious for the better part of the last two months," Red pointed out.

"Well, that's ironic seeing as how I could destroy you in my sleep," Allura retorted, pinning one of Red's shoulders to the wall behind them. Red was close enough to hear Allura's quiet breathing.

"I'm gonna take you down one of these days," Red grinned back.

"Famous last words," Allura let go of her arm. She was tired. She pulled out a bottle of some mysterious liquid and chugged it like nobody had ever seen. It occurred to Red as the purple juce flowed down Allura's face, how beautiful Allura was. It was pretty impossible to not notice at any given time, but one had to be downright ethereal to be able to still look drop dead gorgeous getting what was essentially a sports drink everywhere.

"Anything of note happen in the time I was gone?" Red asked.

"Well..." Allura paused, "the one thing I can think of is sort of a secret."

"You can tell me anything. I mean, at least the stuff that you want to," Red tilted her head.

"You promise not to tell the others?" Allura asked.

"Of course."

"Well," Allura hesitated, "I have decided to try to pilot the black lion."

"Really?" Red perked up, "You're sure?"

"Not really," Allura admitted, "you really meant all that stuff you said before? About me being a great leader and all?"

"I'd follow you anywhere," Red answered. It wasn't a melodramatic declaration, it's just something Red knew without having to think about it.

"Thank you, Red," Allura smiled, "and you were right. You would make an awful leader."

"Yep."

"I mean like a really awful, horrible leader."

"Okay, okay."

"Who over the age of two would put you in charge?" Allura asked.

"That's it!" Red took the drink from her hands and splashed purple liquid on Allura's face.

"Hey!" Allura yelled, grinning, "You're gonna pay for that!"

"You're gonna have to get over here and make me," Red teased.

"Oh, it is so on," Allura stood and got back into her fighting stance.

* * *

**Notes from Katherine "Katie" Pidge's field journal**

**Day 365 (give or take)**

**Well, it's been an official Earth year since we've been in space. I've learned a lot, but there's still so much that I still want to know. I've been interviewing Coran to figure out the differences between human and Altean biology. Did you know that they're pretty much impervious? I didn't. One of the only ways to kill them is to pierce their chests. Alteans also live longer than humans. Indefinitely, according to Coran, but he also said since nobody ever died, it couldn't be proven if they actually lived forever or if they just hadn't lived long enough to die.**

**Anyway. The oldest recorded Altean was around four hundred thousand years old. She sort of disappeared off the face of the (Altea)??? So who knows. (Hunk's notes: "Go vampire aliens!")**

**Red has made a full recovery and is ready for new missions, but she seems kind of hesitant about it. She is also like, a moody loner though. So maybe she's just being a moody loner. It's like getting concerned about me when I stay up all night researching aliens. Like, that's just a thing that I do. Well, anyway, she seems broodier than usual. It's freaking me out.**

**Till next time**

**Pidge**

* * *

It wasn't that they didn't care about each other. It was quite the opposite, in fact, they cared enough to know that if they didn't want to talk about whatever was bugging them, they weren't going to. Red and Allura were alike in that way, closed books. They never wanted to show themselves in any way. Low maintenance. To them, it was a virtue, though it often did them more harm than good.

But they could hide from their feelings. It's what they did. Allura pushed her own thoughts to the back of her mind to keep from getting in the way of her royal duties. Red could do the same. She hadn't had anyone to confide in since...well, since Shiro. And by that point in time Red had gotten far too used to relying on herself.

They could hide from their own feelings. They wouldn't let themselves think about them. It was like a game they played, to see how long they could go without emotions boiling over. And they always did.

It was the way that Red handled herself following her return. She and Allura would bond and then almost immediately, Red would withdraw. She and Allura were becoming closer, but they still managed a safe distance from each other. Two steps forward, two steps back. Allura wanted to know what was wrong, but she knew better than to pry with Red. 

Though at some point, Red surprised her. She surprised both of them. She showed up outside of Allura's door in the middle of the night. She didn't knock, just lingered in front of the door, perhaps waiting for the courage to strike her to knock. Allura only knew she was there because she was awake. She could see the shadow of Red's boots beneath the door. Allura felt like she should do something. But it wasn't until Red began to turn around that Allura spoke.

"Red?" Allura asked.

"Uh, yeah?" Red froze in her tracks.

"What are you doing?" Allura pressed.

"Taking a walk."

"In the middle of the night? Outside of my door?"

Red didn't answer.

"Red?"

"Yeah, I'm still here."

"Did you want something? It's a little late to train."

"I sort of needed to..." Red trailed off. Her head thumped against the door.

"To what?" Allura climbed out of bed.

"Talk to you about some things," Red answered.

"You can come in, if you'd like," Allura pulled her tangled hair into a ponytail.

"No," Red took a step back.

"No?"

"This is good, actually."

"Okay," Allura slumped her back against the door. There was silence for a long time. Then, Red spoke.

"There was another reason I didn't want to pilot the black lion," Red started.

"Oh?" 

"Well, you know, I would have made a horrible pilot. But really, I, uh," Red paused, letting her head hit the door, "I don't know if you've noticed, but I sort of shut down when people ask me about my family."

"I had," Allura answered plainly, but not teasingly.

"I've never met my mom. Growing up, it was kind of just me and my dad," Red sounded like she was struggling to get each individual word out, "and then, you know, my dad passed away. And the only person I had was Shiro. I guess I've just always felt like something was missing."

"Missing?"

"From my life, I mean," she lowered her voice, "from me."

"Oh," Allura sighed, "I understand what you mean."

"I know," then more silence.

"Red."

"Yeah?"

"I don't ever think I told you how sorry I was. About Shiro, I mean."

"It's okay."

"But it's not."

"Yeah," Red agreed, "I don't think I ever told you how sorry I was about your family."

"Well, I guess we're even," Allura closed her eyes. There was a certain quiet warmth between them. This was the sort of thing they were good at with each other, no matter how they tried to resist it. They hadn't talked like this in a good while.

"I just want you to know that I'm not abandoning the team."

"What?"

"It would just be sometimes," Red added, pressing through Allura's confusion, "every once in a while that I would go."

"Red, what are you talking about?" 

"I'm going to go back to the blade of marmora," she answered finally. Allura's heart sank.

"Red."

"Just for a little bit. Just, like, once every few spicolian movements."

"They nearly killed you," Allura did not raise her voice, but her tone was sharp.

"I'm not asking you to understand."

"Good, because I don't," Allura snapped.

"I want to find my mother," Red continued, matching Allura's tone, "she's my last chance at a family."

"She ran out on you when you were a baby," Allura pointed out. She knew instantaneously it was the cruelest thing she could have done. Red went silent for a long time.

"What would you give for a second chance with your parents?" Red asked. Allura didn't respond. Red stood and walked away. The words rang in her ears until morning. What would she do? 

* * *

She would take the same shot that Red did, she decided as she stood outside Red's door, unmoving. Red hadn't come to breakfast. She was really hurt. Allura was really hurt too. 

"Red?" Allura asked. Red didn't answer. Allura continued, "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine," Red snapped.

"Okay. Well. I thought about what you said," Allura took a few deep breaths, "I want you to know that if you think studying with the blade is what you need to do...I trust you."

Red didn't answer for a very long time. Allura took her hand off the door and turned on her heel to walk back to her room. She heard the door slip open behind her. Allura turned back to face Red. She was standing there, biting her lip bloody. Slowly and hesitantly, Red pulled Allura into a hug. Warmth met Red's cheeks. 

"Thank you," there was an unbearable softness in Red's voice that completely broke Allura apart. She wrapped her arms around Red.

"Just know that you always have a home here. Please don't ever forget that," Allura said.

"Never," Red answered.

* * *

**Notes from Katherine "Pidge" Holt's field journal**

**day 382 (give or take)**

**I think we've finally gotten back on our feet. It wasn't easy, first we had to deal with Shiro being gone and then Red. Then we got Red back! Oh no wait, psyche. She's hanging out with the blade.**

**With how much Allura contacts her though, it's almost like she's still here. That's what Leandro said, that she was like a rash you couldn't get rid of. I can tell though that Leandro really cares about her, though. We all do. And we're worried about what the Blade is doing.**

**Luckily, Red has Thace to look out for her (Hunk's notes: that bitch is still alive???) (I agree with these notes. What the fuck.)**

**Red hasn't been able to track down her mom yet, but she has high hopes.**

**She still comes back sometimes, The medical facilities here are waaaaay more advanced than what they have going over at the Blade. Oh yeah, and Red likes us. That too.**

**We've met with the leader (that Kolivian guy) and Allura warned us not to speak ill of him, but Hunk and I agree he's got this creepy "die for your mission" thing going which, while yes, you should be dedicated, I think your dedication should come from yourself, not some philosophy a mouth breathing testosterone-filled weirdo with a ponytail tells you to think. But I guess that's none of my business, and I'll leave it alone. But that dude seriously creeps me out. Have you seen him? I asked Hunk to do a ref sketch for me but he refused on account of not wanting to look at that creepy weirdo.**

**I like Thace though, he's nice. He seems to not be quite so ass deep in their "knowledge or death" culty fucking ideology (if a blade member comes across this journal, Leandro wrote this). I'm glad he's looking after Red instead of, like, idk, any of them?**

**Oh yeah, and Allura's gonna be piloting the black lion??? At least until Shiro comes back. Shit has gone apples and bananas in this castle. (See? That's something Leandro would say. It's his catchphrase. Pidge would never say that. She doesn't even like bananas. They make her mouth dry.)**

**Till next time,**

**Definitely Not Pidge.**

* * *

Allura felt herself and the black lion intertwine as easily as beading through a dress. Which was to say, not easily, unless you happened to be a particularly talented seamstress. And Allura, although a skilled pilot, was completely stuck.

She flew a few laps around the castle, steadying her breathing as she tried to form a connection with this lion. 

_You seem to be having a little bit of trouble._

"You think?" Allura barked back, "I don't get it. You want me to fly you, but you won't let me have your trust."

_Perhaps that's because I don't have yours._

Allura considered this, and in doing so she nearly crashed the lion into the side of the castle.

"No, I don't trust you. I'm sorry," Allura leaned her head forward and rested her forehead on the cool surface of the window.

_Perfectly understandable. You saw what a struggle your friend Shiro had to master me._

"Why is that?" 

_Because I was designed for Zarkon. It was almost as if he were designed for me. It's not a bond you can just let go of._

"But you should have!" 

_Yes. But it's difficult to move on when you have been betrayed by someone you trusted completely. I wouldn't suppose you knew what that's like._

"Well..."

_Shiro had as many reservations as you did. That's part of why it took so long for the two of us to form a connection._

"I doubt he had as many-"

_Close, though._

"Okay," Allura sighed, "I trust you."

_I'm afraid it's not that simple, my dear._

"Then what do you want me to do?" Allura barked.

_I'm going to let you take complete control. But only if you close your eyes._

"Close my eyes? Complete control? Are you out of your-"

_It sounds frightening. But it works. I let you take control. We won't be fighting over it because you won't be able to see. Complete trust._

"Well," Allura hesitated. What choice did she have, really?

_I'm willing. But only if you are. Trust that goes only in one direction is not trust worth having._

Instead of answering, Allura closed her eyes. She tightened her grip on the helm, but she relaxed her shoulder. Trust. She was fully expecting to crash into the castle, but she knew the black lion would never let that happen at the same time. 

She took a deep breath and guided the lion around the castle without opening her eyes, if even just a crack. The lion flew around the castle with perfect ease. She was actually having fun, she realized, as the lion picked up speed. They rocketed around the castle a few more times before coasting to a stop. In that moment, trust felt less like risk and more like surrendering to freedom.

* * *

It was ten spicolian movements before Red next returned. And she didn't return as chipper as before. She looked like she had the shit kicked out of her. She was unconscious as Thace handed her over, apologizing for the circumstances of her return. Allura could barely swallow her anger long enough to carry Red to a cryopod. She screamed so loud and for so long at Thace she almost forgot that she actually liked him, that she wasn't sure that Kolivian would even take the trouble to return Red's injured body. 

Allura hated seeing Red like this. It wasn't the first time the Marmora had brought her home battered and bruised. Far from it, in fact. From their very first brush with the Blade, they were seeing just how far they could push Red. And Allura really tried. She did. To be supportive, to be open minded. But every time they brought back Red like that, so fragile and empty of her usual life, something in Allura broke just a little bit more.

This was definitely the worst though. Red was so absent of her spirit. She was so bruised, she was nearly unrecognizable. The realization struck her, as she watched Red's bruised face heal through the cryopod glass, as she slept on the floor in front of her and wouldn't let a soul take her away, that she really did love her. 

Of course Allura did. She knew that already. What she didn't know was how in love, how soul crushingly deeply in love she was with Red until she saw her like this.

Her love for Red was all-consuming, like a black hole, swallowing everything in its wake. It was stronger than Allura. Stronger than anything she had ever known. How horrible it was, she thought, to love someone so much to ravage galaxies for them, leaving destruction in their wake. 

* * *

One night, very late, Allura woke up to find Red missing from the cryopod. She didn't even stretch before she sprung off the floor, ready to hunt Red down. She checked every room in the castle, Red's, the kitchen, the training deck. Even Allura's. But it was no use. She realized quickly that the one room she had been avoiding was where she had to be.

Sure enough, Allura found Red boarding one of the ships in the hangar.

“What are you doing?” Allura asked.

“I have,” Red paused, “a mission.”

“No,” Allura shook her head, “you don’t. You can’t.”

“I can’t?” Red asked.

“Please don’t go. I can’t stand to see you as you are with the blade.”

“I’ll be back,” Red loaded her bag on the ship, “I promise.”

“A promise is a very big thing, Red,” Allura warned.

“I know,” Red considered this, “but I will. It’s supposed to be a short mission.”

“The last one was a short mission, too,” Allura pointed out.

“That wasn’t anybody’s fault but mine.”

“They put you in harm’s way.”

“Yeah? So do you.”

“Red,” Allura whispered, “they don’t care about you. They’re going to get you killed.”

“What would you know about the blade?” Red scoffed.

“More than you give me credit for,” Allura took a step forward.

“Well, not enough,” Red took a step back.

“Please,” Allura approached the ladder to the ship, “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I’m not gonna get hurt, Allura,” Red protested, “I have people looking out for me.”

“They’re not looking out for you so much as themselves and the mission,” Allura shot back, taking a seat on the ladder.

“So you’re just gonna physically restrain me from going now?” Red asked.

“I did not want to, but you leave me no choice.”

“Here’s a choice for you,” Red muttered, “you can get out of my way or you can come with me.

“There is no way that I’m doing that,” Allura huffed.

“Good. Move,” Red nudged her, but she didn’t budge, “this isn’t funny, Allura.”

“I never said that it was,” Allura glared at her, “I’m asking you one more time not to go.”

“Give me one good reason not to!” Red crossed her arms.

“The last time they brought you home, they dumped what was left of you off, so beat up you were almost unrecognizable.”

“Allura, that wasn’t their fault.”

“And what would be?” Allura snapped, “when they don’t come back with you at all?”

“They care about me enough to bring me back.”

“Not enough to protect you, though.”

“I never asked for anybody’s protection.”

“That’s your whole problem, Red, that you think you don’t need anybody to watch your back.”

“I never said that!” Red yelled.

“They won’t watch your back.”

“Well, the one person who does watch my back is being an asshole about it, so I don’t know what you want me to do!”

“I want you to stay.”

“Enough. You know how important this is to me, just because you don’t think it’s important-”

“It’s not that I don’t think it’s important. I don’t think it’s worth your life.”

“Well, that’s my decision to make. What do you care? If I die, there will be another red paladin.”

“There’s never gonna be another you.”

“Who cares?”

“I do!”

“Why? Why do you care so much about someone as insignificant as-”

“Because I’m in love with you!” Allura screamed. Red froze. She loved her. Oh. oh. She blinked. Allura’s eyes were wet with tears.

And Red felt the realization burn at the back of her thoat that she loved Allura too. So much. She wanted to say it back. Needed to. But right now, Allura was a promise that Red couldn’t make to herself. She did the only thing she could think of, which was kiss her. It wasn’t tender like she wanted, but it was something. 

She pulled away, and Allura stepped off the ladder. Red, despite the break of her heart as she did it, used the opportunity to climb onto the ship. All things considered, it was the cruelest thing she could do.

* * *

The assignment was simple. A group of Galran radicals had planned to assassinate Allura. They were simply supposed to remove said plans and destroy them. Red had protested, saying that if they already had malintent towards Allura, there was nothing stopping them from trying again.

But Kolivian had none of it, just shooed her off with promises that her mother would agree, and Red found herself as she often did with nothing to say. She let herself seethe with rage as she and Thace split off. She was going to follow the plan, if reluctantly, taking out as many Galran soldiers as she saw fit.

Thace, she realized as he shot the galra footsoldier with one hand and clawed a panel of the wall open with the other, had different plans. 

“Whatthehellareyoudoing,” Red whisper screamed.

“Well, I know you take as much issue with Kolivian’s ideology as I do. The difference is that I know when to shut up and take orders and when to act,” he explained, “And, well, if we destroy the plans, burn them, launch the computer into deep space, the problem is that the Galra already have malintent towards voltron, towards your girlfriend.”

“She is not my…” Red stopped talking when Thace shot a glare her way, “right. Not important.”

“If we simply destroy the plans,” he continued, “well, if they’re already dead set on killing Allura, that won’t do much but to slow them down. So my suggestion, if you’re with me, is we kill these wastes of space while we have the chance.”

“I’m with you,” Red spoke without hesitation. It did not matter that Kolivian was going to personally destroy them when they returned, or that they could be found and killed or worse. Where Allura was involved, Red protecting her was as crucial as her own beating heart.

“I knew you would be,” Thace’s lips twitched again.

“How? I mean, how are we gonna. Uh.”

“Well, I entertained a few options. Poisonous gas is something that I thought about, but on the off chance they survived, they would know their systems would have been compromised and we would be dead where we stand. Testing such a gas would be dangerous to me. And, well, I’m willing to die for the cause. But I am not thick-skulled.”

“A rare quality among the Blade,” Red retorted, earning a chuckle from Thace.

“Well, then there’s shutting the vents and communications down. Suffocate them. Starve them. But as slow and painful a death they deserve, that’s hardly efficient,” he took out a small box, “and as for individually slitting their throats, as glamorous as that sounds, would take all night and definitely get us killed.”

“What’s with the box?” Red raised an eyebrow.

“The option that won,” Thace answered, “they are all sleeping. They are far enough away from planets, moons and any significant stars. So I brought a very small but very powerful bomb. It will leave us enough time to escape, no more. They will be dead, blown up, before they even have the chance to figure out what is wrong, so long as we take the time to kill the witnesses.”

“Holy shit,” she whispered.

“Hm,” he paused, “Earth English profanity. Meaning in grave shawk or awe?”

“Something like that.”

“Well said.” Thace placed the bomb in the wall and fused the panel back with such precision, one couldn’t tell it was even gone. He stood up, “now. As always, I think the smartest route to getting out of here alive is to split up, you take that way and I take this way, that ensures at least one of us has a chance of getting out of here. For what it’s worth, I hope it’s you.”

“Are you sure about this?” Red asked.

“We don’t have the time to be,” Thace pointed out, backing away. Red nodded and turned on her heel. She was a fast runner. She could make it. She ignored the loud clash of the metal as she ran through the ship. 

She was almost halfway when a Galran footsoldier stopped her, wielding a blade. Of course, Red thought, of course now and not before they activated the bomb. She sighed and drew her blade. The soldier put up a fight, but Red was faster. Stronger. She took out the foot soldier and took off running.

Only this time, she felt herself getting lightheaded. She slowed. Red pushed harder, but she could feel her vision blur. She leaned against the wall to catch her breath. When she let go of the wall again, instead of running, she crumpled to her knees. 

That was when she noticed the blood.

There wasn’t really time to get back to the ship by now. Red was dying. She was dying. She was oddly calm. They taught it at the garrison, how to be calm while one is dying. Red wasn’t very good at remembering her training, but she did this time. You were supposed to think about something you loved more than anything.

She thought about the team. 

She thought about Hunk. He was so sweet. He seemed to make his goal in life making Red laugh. And he made her laugh like nobody else she knew. He’d made her a bracelet once, a team bonding exercise that he’d made his own. It was made out of scrap metal, but it was perfect. Red hadn’t worn it much. She was worried she’d break it. She wished now that she had never taken it off.

She thought about Leandro. The two had never gotten along perfectly well, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t friends. They cared about each other. She would kill to roll her eyes at him. She would kill to hear one of his stupid jokes and to pretend it wasn’t funny. 

To hear him laugh. He had the most beautiful laugh. To say something sarcastic back. She’d kill to tell him that underneath it all she cared about him like a brother. 

She thought about everyone. Pidge, Shiro, her dad, the mom she never got a chance to meet. Coran and Shay and Rax. Nyma and Rolo. She thought about everyone until she landed on the one person she was trying not to think about.

She thought about Allura. How devastated she would be when she found out. Their last conversation. It was ugly. Did it have to be so ugly? Allura was so strong, smart, sweet. She was so sweet. And she loved Red. She loved Red. And Red never even got the chance to say it back. 

And Red really did love her back. So much, that leaving her nearly broke Red in half. And why did she leave? Red had spent her whole life searching for her place, and when she met a girl that felt like home, she ran away. Of course she did. When home was a person, that was when it was most fragile. Allura made her fragile. 

She couldn’t die like this. Not here. She used what strength she had to rip a long strip of fabric off of her bodysuit. She ripped that in half, wrapping one around her midsection. It wasn’t perfect. It would have to do. She rolled the other half up and put it in her mouth, ignoring as hard as she could how gross it tasted. Then, she pressed on the wound.

Fabric was a smart move. She bit completely through it and threatened to stab into her gums on the other side. She used her free hand to crawl her way up the wall, thanking god she hadn’t laid down. Red stumbled a bit. When she found her footing, she took long, careful steps. She was going to live.

* * *

When Red woke up, she was lying on a sterile bed aboard the transport ship for the Blade. Bandages wrapped around her waist. She got up, and stumbled out to where Kolivian was sitting at a small desk, boredly reading.

“Hi,” Red greeted.

“Hello,” Kolivian did not look up. 

“What happened?”

“Thace found you and brought you here. Just in time, too. That little stunt he pulled nearly cost you both your lives.”

“So, he made it out okay?”

“Depends on how you see it.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s alive, if that is what you are asking,” Kolivian paused as Red breathed a sigh of relief, “but he is no longer affiliated with the blade.”

“What?” Red demanded.

“He went against orders. He cost hundreds of lives.”

“He took out hundreds of wastes of space, you mean.”

“How you choose to address the situation is a matter of preference, I merely chose to voice my distaste for his actions.”

“You fired him,” Red furrowed her brow.

“Well, it’s a shame. One of our best soldiers,” he closed his eyes like he was solemn. Red knew that was a load of shit.

“Thace is a good man,” Red added, “I’m glad he made it through. That he gets to go home to his family knowing that his intentions were always good,”

“Very rarely do blades wed,” he looked up this time, “your mother was a very rare exception.”

“I cared about him,” Red continued.

“That’s very kind of you,” he didn’t blink, “you’re a good kid, Red.”

“Thanks,” Red told him, “and thanks for patching me up.”

“You’re still going to need further medical care,” he added, “I’m taking you to the castle of lions.”

“Okay,” Red turned on her heel to face him again.

“Since such a horrible thing happened,” he asked, slowly, “how soon do you suppose you’ll be able to return?”

“I...excuse me?” Red asked.

“I don’t expect you to extend your recovery in order to get out of missions,” he explained, “nor do I expect you to falsely claim grief at Thace’s absence from the team. I expect you to return as soon as you possibly can.”

“You,” Red’s mouth twisted, “you’re unbelievable.”

“I do not understand what about my question is unjust. I’m simply concerned about your recovery.”

“You’re not. You don’t care about me.”

“Red, I do care about you,” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “the entire blade does. We care certainly more than that little team of yours.”

“You were apathetic about Allura dying. I care about her. She’s my best friend, and you were just going to let people who wanted to hurt her live.”

“They did not act on their ideologies.”

“We didn’t give them the chance.”

“We are not vigilantes, Red. We are-”

“Cowards,” Red finished.

“Red, you’re a good kid. And I like you. But I will not continue to hear such outbursts or-”

“Or what? You’ll remove me from the blade of marmora?”

“Absolutely. You will no longer have a place with our ideology.”

Red was livid. She wondered if she would be so angry if it wasn’t Allura’s life that had been in danger. The distinction didn’t matter to Kolivian or Thace, but it mattered to Red. She decided, with careful thought, that she would. There was only one thing to do.

“Alright, that won’t be necessary.”

“Good,” Kolivian smiled, “I’m glad you’ve come to your senses.”

“I sure have,” Red smiled, and punctuated her statement by plunging the knife into his desk.

“Are you out of your mind?” Kolivian demanded.

“You can consider this,” she grinned, leaning close to his face, “my letter of resignation.”

* * *

The next time she woke up, she was at home, in the castle of lions, healing in a cryopod. She practically punched a hole through the glass of the thing as she got out. she didn’t think about food or showering or taking a shit. All she thought about was Allura, and the last words they had exchanged. She had to make things right. 

Luckily, she didn’t have to go far. Wherever Red was, Allura was close. Almost as if the two were tethered. She saw Red and turned on her heel, cheeks hot.

“Allura,” Red whispered in that very tone of voice that made the princess unable to move a step away. She faced Red.

“I’m glad to know you’re okay,” Allura smiled, hesitantly.

“I wanted to apologize,” Red continued, placing a gentle hand on Allura’s shoulder.

“For what?” Allura flinched slightly at the touch, but she did not move away.

“For leaving.” 

“Red, you don’t have to…” Allura trailed off. Red met her gaze.

“I don’t need to meet my mother. I don’t,” Red’s voice quivered, if only slightly, “I’ve been looking for family my entire life. And I was too stupid to see that I already had a family, right in front of me.”

“What?” Allura thought she was going to cry.

“You’re my family,” Red repeated, “you and Hunk and Leandro and Pidge and Coran.”

“Oh Red,” Allura hugged her as tight as she possibly could. And the two were silent for a moment, but it wasn’t like before. There was a sort of unspoken love in this silence.

“Thanks,” Red pulled away, “for everything. For being you.”

“Thank you,” Allura grinned, voice shaking, “if I may, I think I owe you an apology as well.”

“For what?” Red raised an eyebrow, afraid she might know the answer.

“I may have said some things in the heat of the moment,” Allura said sheepishly. Her marks were glowing so pink they were practically red, “it was not fair of me to manipulate your emotions in that way. I’m sorry.”

“But you meant that stuff, didn’t you,” it was a question, but it came out like an answer.

“Yes,” Allura finally said.

“So,” Red paused, “you love me.”

“Yes,” Allura said again.

“Hmm,” Red stayed silent. It was exactly what she wanted. She didn’t know what to do with it now.

“You don’t have to say it back,” Allura added.

“Thanks,” Red straightened her spine, “I do, though.”

“You do?” Allura found herself, for once, without a plan.

“Please don’t make me say it again,” Red sighed.

“I won’t,” Allura assured her, “what do we do?”

“I don’t know,” Red paused, “you have to realize that this is really shitty timing on both our parts.”

“Yes,” she laughed, “it is. A war is hardly the time to be romantic.”

“If it makes a difference,” Red said, slowly, “if we’d met-”

“Don’t,” Allura raised her hand, “please.”

“Okay.”

“Am I pushing my luck by asking if we will remain friends?”

“More like if you stopped being my friend i’d punch a hole in the nearest window and get sucked into space.”

“Holy shit, Red,” she was using Earth lingo lately. It never ceased to knock the wind out of Red. 

_____________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My angel flew away  
> I didn't know how to keep her  
> Heaven knows I needed her to stay  
> I hope she spreads her wings  
> Surfing on a sunbeam  
> And dancing to a song I couldn't sing
> 
> But if I saw her on the street I'd say,  
> "My baby fly back to me."


	3. Part Three: If You Would be so Kind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And your heart will stay forever  
> When your last remains are few  
> In the dark we dance together  
> And I'd like to be waiting with you

**Notes from Katherine "Pidge" Holt's field journal (Penned by Hunk)**

**Day 452 (give or take)**

**Mission # 68**

**I'm happy to announce that, after a lot of trial and error, we managed to finally, finally form Voltron. Allura is a great pilot and we're all very proud of her. The whole mission today kind of hinged on us being able to form Voltron. We had to fight this enormous like. Land octopus thingy. We didn't get a good enough look at it for me to beg Hunk to draw it, but I know it had purple tentacles based on the one that nearly grabbed and suffocated me. So, anyone reading this, picture a purple alien octopus and you might have some kind of approximation at the thing we fought.**

**The weird thing was that the thing didn't seem to have any malintent, a nice change of pace from the monsters Haggar crafted specifically to maim us. I wonder what that batshit bitch is up to right now. Probably nothing good, seeing as how we killed her...boss? Husband? Boyfriend? hm. I don't like those words so close together but none of us really know what the fuck was going on with their relationship.**

**She, after we killed Zarkon and basically demolished their entire fleet, went into hiding. We haven't even heard about her. In a perfect world she's dead. But as many times as I try to convince myself we live in a perfect world, that's just not true. But if she's not dead, she's keeping very very quiet. No news is good news I guess?**

**Allura doesn't think no news is good news. She thinks there's such a thing as too quiet. I guess I agree with that, I'm just trying to not freak out with everything else going on. Which is difficult, because I have anxiety. Also I'm basically nine-years-old and fighting in an actual war. You can imagine the kind of stress that I have to deal with.**

**Oh god, I'm getting just way off-topic. Anyway, the giant octopus thingy seemed to be hurt by coming into contact with the castle. Which is good news for the queen and bad news for pretty much anybody else on the planet. Which, because she is a good queen, is bad news for her.**

**So the castle is basically functioning like a safe haven for everyone on the planet, and you can imagine how absolutely cramped it's getting. The monster hasn't been defeated, it's just retreated, which means we have to figure out how to stop but not kill it on this misty, misty horror movie video game of a planet.**

**And that means that we've all been on this planet for eight quintents and we are now, as you could expect, cranky as hell., Oh, I almost forgot my notes on alien species.**

**Here on the planet Oroblorborb (that is. The actual name) the citizens are sort of like anthropomorphic amphibian types. They have eyes and mouths comparable to jumping spiders back on Earth, but instead of fuzzy, dark teal and slimy. But they seem to be warm blooded as they live in a cool climate (my thermometer broke. So I have no idea what the hell temperature it is. Sorry everyone.)**

**It's also so foggy that I literally cannot wear my glasses. The climate is close enough to Earth's that we can breathe the air and we shouldn't be wasting the oxygen in our helmets. So basically I'm walking around this planet just blind as all hell. Hunk has been writing stuff down for me. Thanks Hunk. Hunk also did a drawing of the species and references to the castle itself.**

**Well, anyway, the queen says she thinks she knows why the octothingy is freaking out, so I guess we'd better go listen to whatever she has to say.**

**-Pidge ( & Hunk ^_^)**

* * *

Your royal majesty," Allura held a cup of some mysterious liquid as she spoke, "any insight you may have on why the beast is freaking out would be absolutely stellar."

"Of course. Just the paladins though. Nobody else," the queen waved her webbed hand to motion for the paladins to follow. Hunk closed Pidge's notebook and Leandro stood to follow her. 

She led them through a long hallway, down a spiral staircase. Pidge clung to Leandro for dear life as they walked down the stairs. Now would be an incredible time to have glasses, she thought, and Leandro silently agreed as she dug her fingernails into the side of his jacket.

"I believe the octopus can detect the presence of beings that are not of Oroblorborb on the planet," the queen said as the others reached the bottom of the staircase.

"All due respect, your majesty, but we arrived after the attacks started," Hunk pointed out. 

"Very good," the woman blinked her corner eyes, which was according to one of the guards, about as close to a smile as they got on this planet.

"So, what are you suggesting?" Allura asked, furrowing her brow. 

"I am suggesting that you are not the first aliens to arrive on this planet as of late," the queen answered. 

"How do you figure?" Pidge turned on her heel to face the queen, but she just faced the wall instead.

"Oroblorborb has seen not many visitors. The atmosphere is too thin for many to breathe, helmets are expensive. We do not have valuable resources for other planets," she lit a candle, "but it is not unheard of. my mother before me wrote of a visit from the planet Qeuintex in which several tentacled beasts attacked the planet. The attacks began upon their arrival and they stopped when they left."

"How come you didn't tell us before?" Leandro asked.

"I was not positive that was the cause before," the queen answered, "there weren't enough incidents in which we had visitors to compare. But these are the only times we've seen such creatures. I suspect they are dying off based on how the amount of them are depleting. Perhaps the others died because of the allergen in the castle walls."

"Hm," Allura responded, "do you have any theories?"

"Most of the attacks thusfar have been located around a system of caves nearby. These caves are, consequentially, unexplored and dangerous."

"So of course you just built a town right next to it," Hunk chimed in. Everyone gave him looks that were so dirty one could practically smell them. 

"Anyway," the queen dragged her webbed hands down her slimy face, "we've been working on a way to rebuild the destroyed houses with the same material that we believe the monster does not like to come near. It would take far too long and would not solve the problem of not being able to go outside and enjoy the weather to start that without neutralizing the threat. So I have taken the trouble of making you all armor."

She pulled a lever and the chrome wall flipped. There were five sets of armor on the other side. 

"Shiny," Leandro said. The armor was black but it sparkled like diamonds.

"Alright, we need to suit up and head out," Allura instructed, "the fate of Oroblorborb depends on it."

* * *

The caves were large and purple, shaped like lava rocks with mouths that seemed to have actual teeth at the front, hanging like stalactites. Allura felt the ground. There seemed to be a coat of slime on the ground. This was already not a good sign.

"Hunk, you can go with me. Leandro can go with Red. Pidge, go with whoever you think is the least likely to get you killed," Allura instructed.

"You're splitting up the dynamic duos of the team? Allura, I'm not sure that's a good idea," Pidge squinted. 

"Leandro and Hunk are good from a distance and Red and I are better up close. Splitting up our snipers is the best way," she pointed out, though something in her voice hinted that there was another reason. 

The team split up accordingly, Leandro and Red heading for the leftmost cave and Allura and Red heading for the rightmost. The first thing that Red noticed about the cave was that it smelled. Not bad, just odd. It smelled like the ocean back home but with a tint of something Earthy. As they got deeper into the cave, they realized their suits were glowing.

"This cave is giving me the creeps," Leandro shuddered.

"Is it the fact that it feels like walking inside a monster's mouth in here?" Red asked, not looking at him.

"I think that it's more the fact there could be a giant xenophobic monster in here that could definitely kill us if we let it get too close, and you and I are teamed up together and we're always arguing, or-"

"Leandro?"

"Yeah?"

"Quit freaking out."

"Right," Leandro sighed, "I can't help but be a little nervous. And it's too quiet in here."

"I can't possibly imagine how you think it's too quiet in here," Red furrowed her brow.

"Could you please just talk?" Leandro asked, "I feel better when people talk to me."

"I guess so," Red rolled her eyes, hiding her genuine concern, "about what?"

"Dunno," Leandro answered.

"Thank you, that's very helpful."

"Oh shut up," Leandro folded his arms.

"I thought you wanted me to talk," Red smiled. She was getting on his nerves.

"Okay, smartass, I'll give you a topic," Leandro paused, "how about what the fuck is going on with you and Allura?"

"I...what?" Red asked.

"Oh you know. You guys are either joined at the hip or not talking at all. And this past couple of weeks it's like the weirdest mixture of both," Leandro looked at her, "I wanted to make sure both of you are okay."

"We're fine, Leandro."

"And you're like, all weird and like. kind of fluttery around each other."

"Fluttery?"

"It's like you're both awkward, and giddy, and kind of like. Flinchy. Like, if one of you touches the other you jump backwards," Leandro continued, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you liked each other."

"I think I heard a noise way over there," Red squinted, dodging his question. Leandro sported this extreme over the top grin, "what?"

"You do, don't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Red averted her gaze.

"She clearly likes you too. You should totally go for it," Leandro said.

"I'm extremely curious about why the fuck you think this is your business," Red retorted.

"Well, I dunno," Leandro shrugged, "you and I are friends, too."

"You're more like a rash that I can't get rid of."

"I'm just saying," Leandro kissed his teeth, "if you want to talk about it-"

"Jesus christ, fine!" Red threw her hands up in defeat, "we do like each other."

"That's great!" Leandro grinned.

"It isn't. It really is not."

"Just because you're afraid to tell her, which is totally okay by the way-"

"She told me," Red cut him off.

"What?" Leandro asked.

"When I left, she told me she loved me."

"Oh my god," Leandro gasped, "you said it back, right?"

"What the hell kind of question...No."

"No?"

"I was about to leave so I..kissed her."

"You kissed her. But you didn't tell her you loved her too?"

"No."

"Well...do you?"

"Jesus. Yes. I do. I'm very much in love with her."

"So, why aren't you together?"

"It's not that simple, Leandro," Red looked down, wishing desperately she was one of these weird-looking plants being crushed beneath their feet.

"Well, why not?" Leandro asked, "I mean if you don't mind telling me."

"I do, as a matter of fact," Red said through gritted teeth, "and it's bad timing."

"Oh brother," Leandro rolled his eyes. They kept walking.

"You're mocking me now?" Red shot a glare in his direction.

"I've been mocking you since we met, first of all," Leandro pointed out, "second of all, bad timing is a myth."

"Oh, I've got to hear this," Red crossed her arms.

"Bad timing is an excuse people use to procrastinate telling people their feelings."

"What if that person that you love is about to get married, or something?" Red asked, "That's bad timing."

"That's not an example of bad timing," Leandro protested, "that's an example of using bad timing as a crutch for so long that it ends up being too late and you die alone and you could have been happy if you told that person you were in love with them before all of that went down."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Red raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just saying," Leandro continued, loudly, "that for anybody, really, but especially us, there's never gonna be a perfect time to tell someone that you love them."

"Come on."

"I'm serious. We're the defenders of the galaxy. Even with the war over, we'll still always have some weird bullshit we have to take care of. There's always gonna be some kind of a resistance to build or a bad guy to protect people from or someone in danger. We're always gonna be something we have to fight or save."

"Your point being?" Red was becoming increasingly afraid of Leandro actually having one.

"So we can either not fall in love, like, not at all, waiting for the perfect time till you die and wind up, well, without companionship," Leandro said, "or we can go for it, and have something to hold onto through all of it."

"Damn it," Red mumbled.

"What?" 

"Words can't describe how upset it makes me when you're right," Red met his gaze, "and when I have to thank you. Which I should."

"Is that as close to actually thanking me you're gonna get?" Leandro raised an eyebrow.

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Thought so," Leandro grinned and slung an arm around her shoulder. 

Leandro, despite her best efforts to hate him, was really one of her closest friends. They were alike in a lot of ways, perhaps that was what made them fight so much, but they really cared about each other. Their differences were what made them a good team. Red knew that Leandro was so much smarter and stronger and braver than her in a lot of ways, and Leandro was convinced the exact opposite. 

* * *

"Pidge, if you wouldn't mind not clinging onto me like a sloth on a tree branch, that would be fantastic," Hunk said.

"And if you wouldn't mind," Pidge retorted, "not shaking like a leaf so I wouldn't have to hold on so tight, that would be peachy."

"Be quiet, both of you," Allura commanded.

"I don't understand why I had to be stuck with you guys," Pidge continued.

"Stuck on us, more like," Hunk retorted.

"Would you rather have been left with Red and Leandro?" Allura asked.

"Yeah, touche," Pidge mumbled, "I still don't get what Hunk is complaining about. I weigh less than his bayard."

"My bayard is not a pain in the ass," Hunk shot back.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Pidge asked.

"Help me with my journal Hunk, carry me around, Hunk, draw stuff for my stupid galaxy reference guide one could just as easily buy at the mall, Hunk, paint the gutters Cinderelly," Hunk said in a singsong tone.

"Who the quiznak is Cinderelly?" Allura demanded.

"Earth fairy tale princess," Pidge explained, "Hunk, I thought you liked helping me with my field journal!"

"Yeah, well, that's beside the point," Hunk stood firm.

"That is entirely the point," Pidge argued, "if you like doing something, it's not a chore!"

"Yeah, well, a thank you every once in a while wouldn't kill you!" Hunk frowned, "I'm not your sidekick, but you treat me like I am, and it really hurts my feelings."

"Hunk, I'm sorry. I appreciate the hell out of all of your help. I should act like it," Hunk didn't answer. Pidge sighed. There was only one thing to do, "who's the best left leg we've got it's Hunk, it's Hunk."

"Oh my god, no," Hunk shook his head.

"Who's the strongest and the best shot, it's Hunk, it's Hunk," Pidge chanted.

"I forgive you please stop doing that please," Hunk put his face in his hands.

"You know I'm not gonna stop until you join in," Pidge grinned, "who's stronger than a trillion men, it's Hunk, it's Hunk, who's everybody's best friend it's Hunk, it's Hunk."

"Who's got the biggest heart and brain, it's Hunk, it's Hunk," Allura joined in, "who's even fun when he complains it's Hunk, it's Hunk."

"Who needs to know all the deets, it's Hunk, it's Hunk," Pidge and Allura sang together.

"Who's handsome smart and really sweet it's Hunk, it's Hunk," Hunk reluctantly joined in.

"Woo!" Pidge cheered.

"Okay now never ever do that again," Hunk commanded.

There was the sound of something snapping in the distance, cutting their reconciliation short.

"What the hell was that?" Pidge asked.

"Let's hope we don't have to find out," Hunk raised his bayard.

There was a sort of suction-ey sound springing from the sticky sides of the cave...Shit!

"I think it's coming from behind us," Hunk observed.

"Oh good, nobody panic, it's only coming from our only chance at our escape!" Pidge's voice slowly raised. Allura readied her bayard, but before she could even properly arm it, a tentacle appeared from below the fog and snaked around her ankle. She dropped her weapon as it hung her upside down by her boot.

"Allura!" Hunk shouted. He shot at the tentacle and the beast shrieked, grabbing hold of him and Pidge.

"Why isn't our armor working?" Pidge's voice vibrated as the thing shook her like a ladder.

"Well, this has gone to hell in a handbasket," Hunk sighed as the octopus thing slammed him against the wall. 

"Red and Leandro! Come in Red and Leandro!" Allura shouted into her newly functional comm device as the beast held her to its slimy skin.

"Sheila!" A voice said, "You put those nice people down!"

A masked man came forth as the beast growled at him. The man hit her on the nose with a really big stick. The monster whimpered and dropped the paladins on the cold hard floor.

"Good girl," he pet the beast, handing it what appeared to be a comically large cracker.

"What the fuck," Pidge scrambled to her feet, "is going on?"

"Pidge?" the man asked, removing his mask.

"Holy fucking shit!" Hunk responded.

"What the fuck is all the shouting going on over here?" Leandro and Red ran in. They stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of the masked man.

"Shiro?" Red asked, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes.

"Oh my god, I thought I'd never see you again," Shiro made a run for Red and pulled her into the tightest hug that he could manage. The rest of the team had a bug in their eyes that they needed to drown, except for Pidge, who wasn't positive what the fuck was going on.

"You're alive. You're alive!" Red sobbed into his shoulder.

"I'm so happy to see you, Keith," Shiro hugged her even tighter.

"Actually, Shiro," Red's voice was barely coherent through the sobbing, "it's Red now."

"Red?" Shiro pulled back to get a good look at her. He smiled and hugged her again, "You came out. I'm so proud of you."

"You always knew," Red smiled, "you always knew I could do it."

Hunk was the first to break the tension on how long they should let Shiro and Red hug before they got hugs, too. He joined them.

"Shiro my man, I'm so glad you're okay!" He said.

"Well, don't do a group hug without me!" Leandro joined in, guiding Pidge with him.

"I'm so happy that you're safe," Allura grinned, joining them.

The beast interrupted by whining at them. Leandro, who wasn't briefed on the situation, raised his gun to the tentacles pointing up out of the fog.

"Don't hurt Sheila!" Shiro jumped in between Leandro's bayard and the monster.

"You're friends with the monster we've been fighting?" Leandro asked, lowering his gun.

"You named it Sheila?" Red raised an eyebrow.

"She looks like a Sheila!" Shiro defended, petting the beast again, "It's okay, they're friends!"

"Okay, what the fuck is going on?" Pidge asked, "I know that's Shiro we're talking to but who the fuck is Sheila?"

"Your glasses are gone," Shiro said.

"Yeah, no shit!"

"I didn't know you needed those to see. I just thought you stole them from Matt," Shiro squinted at her.

"I wore contact lenses back on Earth. Me and matt somehow have the same prescription," Pidge answered, "anyway."

"Yeah, uh, Shiro, we're so glad you're alive and all, but what in God's name is going on?" Hunk asked.

"When I took out Zarkon, it sent a blast through the Black Lion. So the Black Lion told me to stay safe, and I woke up here. In the dark. In this cave. Being brought fish and other food by this giant sweetheart right here," Shiro explained.

"We thought you could be dead," Leandro said.

"Well, clearly I'm not," Shiro gestured to himself.

"You could be an evil clone of the real Shiro," Hunk suggested, "and ghost Shiro is like, floating around the black lion."

"That is the dumbest most convoluted thing I've heard in my life, Hunk," Pidge squinted at nobody in particular.

"It was just a thought," Hunk shrugged.

"Wait, I'm lost, why is this thing being nice to you?" Leandro asked, "the queen told us he didn't like aliens."

"What? That's ridiculous!" Shiro said, "we're friends, aren't we Shiela Wheela?"

"Well, why is it attacking the nearby town?" Leandro asked.

"Well," Shiro dropped down, to the ground, "I hear noises similar to the ones Sheila makes at night coming from down below. I think that somehow she got separated from her family. And when she hears them calling, she tries to dig, but she doesn't really have the equipment for it. Tentacles are good at crushing, not at digging. So she goes outside and tries to dig there."

"But in trying to do that, she's destroying people's houses," Allura finished.

"Exactly. I'm trying to figure out how to get her down there without destroying anybody's livelihood, I just don't know what exactly would be strong enough to dig through this without potentially destroying her family below."

"I have an idea," Red grabbed Hunk's arm, "we'll be right back. You guys keep her out of trouble while we're gone."

* * *

Leandro and Pidge were in awe at the creature, petting her and trying to snap pictures to use for the guide, despite how dark it was. She was like a giant squishy marshmallow. If marshmallows were moist. But somehow in a pleasant way. Shiro approached Allura.

"Hi," he said.

"Hello," Allura smiled, "do you need something, Shiro?"

"Yeah, uh," Shiro looked at her, "I couldn't help but notice that you're holding the black bayard," he said.

"Oh. Well, would you look at that," she looked down at it.

"I read some of Pidge's field journal. Are you piloting the black lion?" Shiro asked.

"Well, I mean, I would assume not now, seeing as how you're back, but I have, technically, been piloting the black lion in your absence," she confessed.

"Yeah, Allura's been awesome!" Leandro chimed in unsolicited from the other side of the room.

"Has she?" Shiro laughed.

"I'm sorry," Allura looked down.

"Why are you sorry?" Shiro asked.

"You wanted Red to be the black lion paladin if something ever happened to you," she pointed out, "I deliberately went against your wishes. We both did. But Red thought I would be a better match. She hated the very idea of piloting the black lion."

"To be fair," he said, "I wasn't expecting something bad to happen to me so soon. I thought maybe she would grow into it."

"Right," Allura sighed.

"But you're a much better choice to pilot him, to be honest," Shiro nudged her with his elbow.

"You think so?" Allura asked.

"In fact," Shiro nodded, "I think you should be the black paladin permanently."

"Oh, I could never do that," Allura backed away nervously,: "I mean, you're the leader. The black lion is spoken for."

"According to the notes, the black lion chose you," Shiro pointed out.

"Yes, but-"

"When we first came to the castle, you told us we were destined for greatness," Shiro said, "and you never seemed to include yourself in that."

"Well, I'm no defender of the galaxy," Allura said, "I'm just there to support all of you."

"Allura?" Shiro placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Yes?"

"You are the heart of Voltron. You always have been."

"You really feel that way?" Allura could feel herself starting to smile.

"I really do," Shiro said. 

"Okay," Shiro straightened her spine, "okay. I'll do it. But what about you?"

"I think that maybe," Shiro said, "I can help the team without being a paladin. I could fight with you guys. I don't have to be a paladin of Voltron to do that."

"Like I used to?" Allura asked.

"Yeah, like you used to," Shiro mussed her hair. 

* * *

Red and Hunk came crawling through the caves in the yellow lion. Sheila took a defensive stance. But when Red walked out, she sighed happily.

"Alright, everyone get out of the way," Red instructed. The other paladins did as they were told, guiding Sheila out of the way. The yellow lion roared, shaking the walls of the cave, and began digging. It dug and dug until there was a sizable hole, big enough for Sheila to fit through, and a small ramp down to where it met another cave. 

The yellow lion rose and curled up in a ball in the corner. Sheila eyed the hole nervously. 

"It's okay, girl," Shiro took one of her tentacles in his hand and led her down the rock-made ramp, the paladins following after. The caves below were somehow even darker, glowing armor being the only thing to provide any sort of light. It wasn't long before they came across a group of much larger tentacled creatures.

The largest one did something akin to a cheer, and approached Sheila slowly. Sheila clung to her and they both squealed happily. The large one, who they could only assume was a parent, placed a tentacle lovingly on Shiro's cheek as if to thank him. He pet her tentacle, getting slime all over his hands. 

The large one retracted and went back towards the group. Sheila stayed put. The large one squeaked in protest as if to tell her to hurry along. But Sheila looked towards Shiro.

"It's okay, girl," Shiro pet her enormous blobby featureless head, "I'll be okay. But we've both gotta go home."

"Oh man, I thought I was done crying for the day," Leandro's lip quivered.

"I guess this is goodbye," Shiro hugged her. Sheila wrapped her tentacles around Shiro. They stayed like that for a long time. It had been about a year, they deserved a lengthy goodbye. The large one placed a tentacle on Sheila's head, and Shiela retracted from the hug with a mild protest of a sigh. Even with no visible features, Shiro could tell that she was smiling.

* * *

When they got back to the castle, they put Shiro in a cryopod just to be safe, also lecturing the team that so help him god if he had to place someone in that cryopod sometime in the next ten thousand years...

"Well," Red sighed, "what now?" 

"I have an idea for what you should do," Leandro whispered, pointing towards Allura.

"Definitely not," Red said.

"Why not, though?" Leandro asked, "I thought we were agreed that I was right."

"Because," Red paused, "I don't think I'd know what to say. I already turned her down once."

"Just tell her what you're feeling," Leandro suggested.

"Easy for you to say!"

"It doesn't have to be eloquent."

"Yes it does. I've never been good at even feeling my emotions, let alone talking about them, like, to other human beings."

"Whatever you have to say, she'll understand."

"What?" 

"If you don't know what to say, just say anything and she'll know."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"It's how me and Hunk got together!" Leandro said, blowing a kiss at Hunk from across the room, "Do you think he knew what to say when he told me he liked me?"

"That," Red sucked air through her teeth, "doesn't sound like Hunk, no."

"Well," Leandro gestured, "he did it anyway. And it worked. Because I knew what he was trying to say."

"Are you sure that-"

"Red, if you keep second-guessing yourself, you're never gonna be able to do it."

"Ohhhhh nooooooooo," Red rolled her eyes. Leandro glared at her, "okay. Okay fine. But later. After everyone else has gone to bed."

"Good choice," Leandro nodded, "I've always thought public romantic gestures were embarrassing."

"They really are," Red agreed, "thanks."

"No problem," Leandro smiled, "you've got this."

"You know," Red smiled back, "when you're not being obnoxious, you're a pretty good friend."

"Yeah?" Leandro put an arm around her, "When you're not being a show-off, you're a pretty damn good friend, too."

"Pretty boy."

"Tough girl."

"Dork."

"Jackass."

He hugged her. 

* * *

It was the fourth no, fifth time that she had passed Allura's door. She had written what she wanted to say about a thousand times. None of it was good enough. The metal of the floor no longer creaked, but Red's heart was beating too loud for her to notice the absence of other sounds. She froze in front of the door. Listen to Leandro, she reminded herself, though the words still refused to compute in her brain. She had to do it. There was no way she was gonna do it. It was now or never. Okay, never.

"Red?" Allura asked from behind the door. She knew. She always knew.

"Yeah, hi. Can we, uh," Red sighed, "can we talk?"

"Sure. Let me open the door, and-"

"No!" Red practically shouted, "I mean, uh, no. This is...this is good."

"Okay?" Allura walked towards the door nonetheless, "what did you want to talk about?"

"Well, I, uh..." Red worried her lip, "this is stupid."

"This is stupid?" Allura repeated.

"Just. I don't do this shit! I've never been good at this. I'm so sorry. I tried to write it down. But, turns out, I'm worse at writing than I am at talking," Red thumped her head against the door, "I need you to promise not to hate me."

"I would never hate you," Allura answered without hesitation.

"Okay, cool," Red sighed.

"Red, what's going on?" Allura asked.

"I just...I've never felt this way about anyone. And I don't know how to say it but...okay," Red took a breath, "okay. It's like this. I've never felt like. Nobody makes me feel, uh, safe, the way that you do, and, uh, nd if it’s a choice between you and me, I’m going to choose you every time. Every time. I would choose you, every day of my life. Not in a weepy, I'll throw myself off a bridge if you die kind of way, but I think that like, every moment of my miserable goddamn life has been worth it just to know you. Just to be near you. Just to be your friend and to know you."

Allura was stunned into silence, ear pressed against the door.

"And I've been in love before, at least twice, but it's never been...like this. If that makes sense. and I don't think I ever will again? I dunno. Soulmate stuff is horseshit, I think, and really bad for like, widows to think about. But I'm never gonna love anybody the same way I love you, I don't think. And if I missed my window, if I blew this and you never want to talk to me again after this, it was still worth it to tell you. If someone’s gonna break my heart, I want it to be you. You’re it, Allura. You’re just it.”

Allura said nothing for an excruciating amount of time. 

"And if you meet someone like that," Red continued, "it was recently pointed out to me that you shouldn't run away."

More silence.

"Allura?" Red asked.

"Yeah, I'm here," Allura paused, "can I please open the door now?"

"I...sure."

And so she did, and she stood there, hands folded, brow furrowed and mouth turned down, but her eyes were glowing with the deepest affection Red had ever seen.

"I love you," she said, "so much."

"I love you too, Allura," Red managed.

"I want to be with you," Allura said, a little louder, a little firmer, "Is that what you want?"

"Yes," Red smiled, "I want to be with you. So much."

"Good," Allura said, "because I don't think I can wait another second without kissing you."

"Then don't." 

And Allura leaned down to kiss her, and Red felt content for the first time maybe ever. Allura placed her hands on the small of Red's back, and Red placed a hand gently on her cheek. Allura was crying. But that was okay, so was Red. And when Allura pulled away, Red kissed her again. And again, and again. And the thought of kissing her every day, having her by Red's side every day filled her with warmth. She smiled into the kiss.

And for a moment, the universe was at peace, as Allura and Red were connected by their very foundation, an unknown force threading their hearts together. No matter how far away they were from each other, they would cross the largest galaxies to find each other. And they would always, always find each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terrified of what I'd be  
> As a kid from what I've seen  
> Every single day when people try  
> And put the pieces back together  
> Just to smash them down  
> Turn my headphones up real loud  
> I don't think I need them now  
> 'Cause you stopped the noise
> 
> And if you stay I would even wait all night  
> Or until my heart explodes  
> How long?  
> 'Til we find our way in the dark and out of harm  
> You can run away with me anytime you want


End file.
